Health: Today, I was pushing so hard to take a number two that I ended... - FML

By Till We Pass Out - 03/10/2015 15:30 - United Kingdom - Halifax

Today, I was pushing so hard to take a number two that I ended up passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 657

You deserved it 5 300

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By BrownDump - 14/05/2011 10:43 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 319

You deserved it 14 182

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 18:18 - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 979

You deserved it 4 832

By a faint recollection - 23/05/2016 01:57 - United States - Goshen

Today, while at a trampoline park, my time of the month and my out-of-shape body worked together to make me almost pass out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 027

You deserved it 2 025

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 237

By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 15:42 - Belgium

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 509

You deserved it 2 885

High tension

By Discipl - 28/10/2014 03:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 103

You deserved it 5 951

By Anonymous - 02/03/2010 14:45 - United States

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 812

You deserved it 8 567

Weak

By Heavybreather - 13/02/2017 12:00 - United States - Athens

Today, after climbing 5 flights of stairs I walked into the restroom to take a piss. I was winded but trying to keep my heavy breathing to a minimum. My plan failed when I almost fainted inbetween two guys at the urinal and started gasping for air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 862

You deserved it 1 122

By MGDS - 14/12/2013 05:52 - United States - Pine Grove

Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 189

You deserved it 3 261

By Out of Shape - 16/08/2011 22:09 - Egypt

Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 924

You deserved it 35 567

Next

Top comments

Razabin 15

Sunday 4 October 2015 12:10

Don't force it dude.. Got to let it be natural! Just relax.. It'll happen.

xoxoblondee 31

Sunday 4 October 2015 12:13

Guess you pushed yourself to your limit.

Comments

lemonchips 12

Monday 5 October 2015 0:52

What did you eat?

Skylyric52 11

Monday 5 October 2015 2:36

Start eating those prunes

helveeta 11

Monday 5 October 2015 5:38

Did you forget who number two works for?

butterfli_murt 3

Monday 5 October 2015 6:54

that's how my grandpa died.

KxHoneyCombxP 24

Monday 5 October 2015 7:18

stool softeners and fiber tabs. bro

MonstreBelle 28

Monday 5 October 2015 11:19

A couple of years ago my boyfriend had to have a colonoscopy and was told he wouldn't be able to leave until he farted. He also passed out because he was trying so hard to fart.

mikepzz 27

Monday 5 October 2015 18:49

Don't push a number 2, a number 3 will result which is where you pass out. Then shit and piss all over yourself

phoneaddict13 29

Monday 5 October 2015 23:46

this site has made me scared every time I go to the bathroom

mellebelle31 7

Friday 9 October 2015 1:21

Just remember - that's how Elvis died!

Yiske88 1

Friday 23 October 2015 15:24

I think you should check you diet, man!

2
3
4
5
6

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Birthday Money Cute Kids Love Health Weird Awkward Abuse Relatable Social Media Scams Parents School Education Anger issues Teenagers Family Capitalism Miscellaneous Relationship advice Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Music Geek Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I got called in for a second job interview for a position I'd applied for. When I met the interviewer, she smiled and told me to have a seat. She pulls out her phone and says, “So, care to explain this?” It was one of my TikToks from ages ago of me singing the "N-word" over and over again. I forgot I had that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 977

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 1 709

The Top

Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 011

You deserved it 2 227

Today, I was in the break room with my colleagues and our awful boss. As ever, he was talking trash, convinced that his jokes were actually funny. The window was open, and it was chilly. As he walked by it, I mangled my words and said, "Cedric, could you please shut your mouth?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 648

You deserved it 7 884

Today, I forgot to wear my shower shoes to my dorm shower. I didn’t think it was a huge deal until I walked in and stepped in something. On closer inspection, I realized that I stepped, barefoot, in someone's jizz. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 373

You deserved it 1 620

Today, I got hit so hard in the head by a dodgeball that a contact popped right out. To make matters worse, I continued to get hit as a futilely searched for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 844

You deserved it 1 579

Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 787

You deserved it 2 743

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 141

You deserved it 36 571