Love: Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm...

By Junktown - 07/07/2011 14:40 - Israel

Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 663

You deserved it 6 337

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Brennan Lebrun - 18/05/2018 05:00

Today, I went to my best friend's house to propose to my girlfriend of 6 years. When I walked in, she was having sex with my best friend's 37-year-old brother. She then yelled, ”You should have knocked first!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 910

You deserved it 354

Awkward conversation

By anon - 28/12/2019 05:00 - United States - La Puente

Today, I had to have a very difficult and awkward conversation with my best friend about her fiancé hitting on me. She seemed completely unfazed and ended up admitting that a three-way with me was actually her idea, but she didn't want to "weird me out" by asking me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 589

You deserved it 370

Catch 22

By Anonymous - 26/03/2021 20:01

Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 100

Read the room

By Anonymous - 28/02/2024 05:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, I proposed to the girl of my dreams. She asked me who I was, and maced me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 1 185

By whattheactualfuck - 22/01/2016 12:50 - South Africa - Durban

Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 840

You deserved it 3 404

By Anonymous - 27/09/2009 02:18 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 148

You deserved it 4 422

Conundrum

By Anonymous - 04/05/2021 04:01

Today, my best friend is completely head-over-heels for his girlfriend, has been buying her very expensive stuff and gave her the ring of compromise after 4 years of relationship. The problem is, I just found out that the girlfriend has been sexting with someone else, and is sure to dump my friend for that guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 109

By ohwell - 24/11/2014 13:44 - Sweden - Tullinge

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 926

You deserved it 3 302

By Anonymous - 09/12/2012 14:53 - United States - Conroe

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 338

You deserved it 3 762

All kinds of wrong

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 14:01

Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 185

InsidiousChild 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 18:46

hit it

cowjudgesyou 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 18:49

Being a black belt means nothing anymore: schools give out belts to anyone willing to put in the money. go for it

Comments

CountOrlandu 3

Sunday 10 July 2011 23:48

man up and give to her good ;)

colormeimpressed 0

Monday 11 July 2011 2:26

no. walk away.

PenguinMafia42 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 9:52

Him being a black-belt should have no bearing on the situation. Hes your best friend your douche.

togepii 0

Monday 25 July 2011 4:59

karate? what a joke!

jeremsan_fml 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:25

be a man and decline its not that hard

WhiteIce 1

Monday 1 August 2011 4:33

Just sayin but if its jessica alba what are you waiting for!

o8poa8o 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 4:38

Karate's gay, and your obviously not his best mate if that's a proposition for you...

10lolo 4

Saturday 13 August 2011 11:49

Take the offer and fly to america.

icametodance 3

Sunday 23 October 2011 21:05

So if he wasn't a black belt you'd bang your friends girl? What if she dint confess thongs when drunk? You wouldn't tell him his gf is a cheater and put him at risk of catching something? You're a douche.