Transportation: Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection,...

By Are you f*cking kidding me - 12/06/2013 06:10 - United States - Denver

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 816

You deserved it 4 550

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Same thing different taste

By Mick - 20/02/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863 935

You deserved it 94 830

You're the ass

By etgohome - 26/08/2013 00:10 - Canada - Kingston

Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 263

You deserved it 3 634

By shifala - 22/01/2015 09:02 - Philippines - Caloocan

Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 052

You deserved it 3 188

That's one expensive hat

By Anonymous - 02/04/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I went off-roading with a group of people. I'd been to wearing a $250 hat while my brother was driving at least 60mph in the dirt, it flew off my head. When I returned to go retrieve it, someone had taken it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 876

By fuck right off - 04/04/2015 17:32 - United Kingdom - Coalville

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 526

You deserved it 3 018

By metallicatime - 16/12/2011 03:16 - United States

Today, a stoplight dropped square into the bed of my pickup truck. The police think I was attempting to steal it, and my insurance won't cover the damage to my truck. There were no witnesses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 307

You deserved it 2 318

By sam - 17/01/2011 03:32

Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 188

You deserved it 2 236

By i hit a cyclist - 27/05/2013 11:19 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 076

You deserved it 25 622

Smooth criminal

By jack1057 - 12/09/2020 01:01 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was walking to my car from my workplace. When I was about 20 feet from my car, a guy who was clearly on drugs yelled at me and stole my keys and car. Right before leaving the parking lot, he hit a stop sign and then yelled that my car was broken and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 144

By Anonymous - 01/01/2019 11:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I got rear ended. The guy flashed his lights at me to pull over, so I pulled into the side of the road. He drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 812

You deserved it 197

Jazz_916 9

Wednesday 12 June 2013 16:01

some people can be real asshats.....

klorehore 24

Wednesday 12 June 2013 16:02

stole your hat? Where was your helmet?

Comments

badmandilon 19

Monday 17 June 2013 0:50

Now it's HIS favorite hat. Love at first sight. Sorry OP.

ChuckNorris2 4

Monday 17 June 2013 10:07

I do believe you should have tried to get his license plate numbers so you could call the COPS.

Anonymous_17221 11

Wednesday 19 June 2013 20:30

R u okay?

Heron3tiger12 0

Thursday 20 June 2013 18:27

Contact the cops because of he ran a red light he will have been caught on a red light camera and then you can get your hat back

Vaati_fml 20

Tuesday 25 June 2013 1:22

I wonder what a donkey would look like in a hat.

FMLFunny11 6

Thursday 20 February 2014 4:51

Hence the term "asshat"

CaptainRR 20

Tuesday 2 September 2014 5:40

Are you alright? That guy is a true asshat. Hopefully, you have a plate number

tehstarchild 16

Tuesday 4 November 2014 18:10

He wanted to cover his asshat with your hat

wafflegeddon 6

Saturday 24 January 2015 3:38

Anything but the hat

criley221 19

Friday 14 August 2015 17:05

A hit and run all for some hat? WTF was he thinking?!? Hope your ok OP!

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The Top

Today, my husband and I have officially become that couple that has to schedule sex. Between his working, my going back to school, raising kids, doing housework and homework, we just haven’t had time. Last night we tried to be spontaneous and get it on. We both fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 586

You deserved it 245

Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 101

The Top

Today, my mom overheard me telling my 6 year-old about periods. My mom condescendingly asked, “Isn’t she a bit young for that?” That’s pretty rich coming from a woman who didn’t want to share the TV, so all of us grew up watching whatever violent or raunchy sex filled R-rated crap she wanted to watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 111

Today, I heard the very loud buzzing of a fly nearby, and I felt a tingly sensation on my arm. I thought there was a fly on my arm; I was half-right. There were, in fact, two flies having sex on my arm. That's something I will never unsee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 253

Today, I had to stop on a long trip to use the restroom at a gas station. Apparently, there was water damage beneath the toilet, because after about two minutes of doing my business, it collapsed about seven inches beneath the floor. Guess who got covered in water, black mold, and poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 927

You deserved it 386

Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 932

You deserved it 2 676

Today, I babysat a five year-old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 301

You deserved it 92 917

Today, my mom asked me to bring the groceries in. In doing so, I brought in a bag full of toilet paper. She saw me and said, “Um, hello? I only said bring the GROCERIES in.” I was thus today years-old when I learned that ‘groceries’ only means food items, not just things you get from a grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 139

Same thing different taste

You're the ass

That's one expensive hat

Smooth criminal

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