Love: Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock...

By Anonymous - 28/11/2014 17:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 341

You deserved it 4 647

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Same thing different taste

By jeesh - 31/01/2009 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 957

You deserved it 89 284

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 252

You deserved it 2 998

Caught in 4K

By buggermonster - 16/06/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 728

You deserved it 76 820

By Anonymous - 28/03/2012 16:25 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 096

You deserved it 30 122

By btg - 06/02/2010 06:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 232

You deserved it 3 544

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 347

You deserved it 5 231

Break in

By GodDaughter - 20/09/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 671

You deserved it 9 988

Too stupid

By Anonymous - 15/02/2020 01:00

Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 2 262

By UUUGHHH - 05/02/2016 20:33 - France - Villejuif

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 147

You deserved it 2 711

Like a dog

By Jick - 26/02/2023 14:00

Today, I was outside when I was suddenly overcome by an intense need to shit. The back door was locked, so I tried to run to the front, but couldn't make it. As I squatted in the bushes, my girlfriend came home unexpectedly. She screamed and called me a sick, disgusting freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 288

ahabsfan 14

Friday 28 November 2014 21:35

Could have been worse. She could have been feeding it to a secret lover.

zalittleman 11

Friday 28 November 2014 21:35

She didnt share? How rude!

Comments

bigboss0103 14

Sunday 30 November 2014 7:30

gross :-SS

Kryptonites1 16

Sunday 30 November 2014 21:53

maybe she was digging for gold and in the process she got hungry?

RayvenWhite 12

Sunday 30 November 2014 23:03

Pretty sure I just threw up in my mouth a little. That's effing disgusting.

DylanWithAy 1

Monday 1 December 2014 6:40

I'm sure she's the one for someone out there. Lol

demonfacee 14

Tuesday 2 December 2014 4:36

Okay, that's nasty. Well, it's better than her being a criminal.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Tuesday 2 December 2014 13:48

I barfed in my mouth.

xXKaanaXx 7

Tuesday 2 December 2014 18:06

who cares? if you're at the state that you find that so gross you have to fml post about it, then you shouldn't be living with her.

alexh55 8

Thursday 12 February 2015 20:46

Well she found a lot of gold

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The Top

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 837

You deserved it 30 760

Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 397

The Top

Today, at work, someone shat outside the bathroom door. Not outside the stall, but in the actual hallway. Guess who got fired for refusing to clean it up! I’m a cashier at a tool supply company and the only female employee. Four dudes refused before I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 529

You deserved it 358

Today, after pointing out to my landlord that they have taken nearly $6k from me through illegal rent increases, I was evicted for the first time in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 1 140

Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 047

You deserved it 2 986

Today, my husband told me he no longer loves me and is moving out. It's also our 13th wedding anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 119

You deserved it 240

Today, my soon-to-be former boss tried to NOT pay me for working on Christmas Eve, but I called her out. Now, she's blocked me out of her life, and is looking for my replacement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 131

Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother scare the literal shit out of me, in Walmart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 732

You deserved it 2 577