Alcohol and ACAB: Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon...

By Anonymous - 15/08/2011 02:39 - Reserved

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 038

You deserved it 7 022

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/05/2012 21:54 - United States - Spring

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 325

You deserved it 2 190

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 004

You deserved it 9 304

Head, meet wall

By Anonymous - 18/09/2019 20:00

Today, while joking and chatting with a coworker on my way to the bathroom, I misjudged the distance to the entrance and slammed my head into the wall. My coworker told everyone. So now I'm funny, but not for the reason I wanted to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 281

You deserved it 356

Appropriate force

By Peppered and Zapped - 07/04/2020 05:00

Today, I'm recovering from being pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and Tased, and arrested for assault. I'm a bouncer and was trying to remove a drunk asshole from the bar when the police showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 107

You deserved it 196

By Nick - 27/11/2009 10:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 012

You deserved it 28 913

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 803

You deserved it 4 714

By justplaindumb - 04/08/2016 00:48 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I walked into a wall, smashing my laptop into the top of my eye socket. This was all because I was carrying my laptop, phone and chocolate mug cake, all while trying to watch Netflix on said laptop. I feel like a 2016 cliché. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 035

You deserved it 16 198

By KO: - 30/04/2014 04:20 - United States

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 542

You deserved it 5 116

Blackout

By Anonymous - 16/01/2023 22:00

Today, I blacked out at work, on my lunch break outside in the rain, and woke up on the ground wet a minute or two later to everyone freaking out, all because I chugged my drink too fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 594

By hard_headed - 10/09/2010 10:02 - United States

Today, at work, I leaned back in a chair too far, causing me to tip over and smash my head into a wall. If that wasn't enough damage, my boss keeps replaying the security footage to everyone I work with. My head hurts not from the fall, but the loud laughter that keeps coming from inside the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 900

You deserved it 22 992

sydneybeau 7

Monday 15 August 2011 8:46

sounds like a blast.

Rico_Mal1116 0

Monday 15 August 2011 8:49

Are you the same idiot who got so drunk they gave out there moms number..?

Comments

sydneybeau 7

Monday 15 August 2011 8:46

sounds like a blast.

fanceh 10

Monday 15 August 2011 8:53

this reminds me of the scene in jackass when knoxville is riding the bike and they shoot him with a firetruck hose.

Iamnotmyself 17

Monday 15 August 2011 9:00

What has happened to our rights as humans? Can a man not walk to a store and buy chocolate for his starving family without being hit by a water cannon? Can a child not play with his toy ball in the front yard without being fined for littering in the sidewalk if he leaves it there? Can I not pay a woman for favors in the back of my car?

Jvr91 8

Monday 15 August 2011 9:03

**** the police.

StoryOfTheYear 14

Monday 15 August 2011 9:09

^^ If that's what turns you on

yoursucklives 36

Monday 15 August 2011 9:10

i don't always hit people with a water cannon, but when i do, i hit the innocent ones.

Jvr91 8

Monday 15 August 2011 9:57

22 yeah I have your mom dress up as a police officer

Keyman1212 14

Monday 15 August 2011 10:30

Way to water down the situation, everyone knows you were going to the corner store to get condoms for your mum because she got a random call from some cute guy she never met. Maybe you should have run like you were getting your hair cut, that way you wouldn't have gotten sprayed all the way to California, where you'd be missed by your creeper uncle who'd cry while jacking off thinking about you, and because he had cuts on his dick from shaving his pubes. I hope you didn't tell your cat this story, because he already had to listen to bitching from your 'religious' parents about how Granny has a new boytoy.

Iamnotmyself 17

Monday 15 August 2011 10:32

-45 Can you ****** on me? My awesomeness meter is running out.

scrapmetal58 9

Monday 15 August 2011 15:26

^^^ Ooooh, looks like some sexy times are about to go down in FMLville. Imma grab my raincoat to watch. Grab a chair. :)

xoconnie 8

Monday 15 August 2011 16:21

people these days still use high pressure water hoses at riots?! theyre so civil rights era with bull connor..... lol

DKParth13 5

Monday 15 August 2011 17:16

38 cool comeback bro!!

jellitonoctopus 19

Monday 15 August 2011 18:02

45- great combo. haha.

CanWeMicrowaveIt 11

Monday 15 August 2011 18:11

23, Stay wet, my friends. O and spray responsibly.

CabooseWins 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 0:55

Sounds like the OP is in England.

XxHoPPoxX 8

Tuesday 16 August 2011 13:52

haha ZING!!!!

TheCurlyTheory 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 22:33

What. The. Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

hahahahepicfail 0

Monday 15 August 2011 8:47

Haha hope u had fun

Nyolia 11

Monday 15 August 2011 8:48

Hopefully it wasn't a brick wall.

aFatFuck 0

Monday 15 August 2011 10:26

Would cement be better?

flamegrilled123 3

Monday 15 August 2011 12:29

You want to hit a metal wall because it leaved an imprint

asianpandabear 0

Monday 15 August 2011 8:48

Did you at least get your chocolate?

techweed 12

Monday 15 August 2011 8:49

That's [partly] why I don't drink. Hangovers are a bitch

your_ma 27

Monday 15 August 2011 10:39

You don't drink in case you don't notice a riot and get hit with a water cannon when you're hungover? Odd.

Feklfekl2222 32

Monday 15 August 2011 13:06

He doesn't drink because he is 15 if you go by his profile.

Gnarlltrugg 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 10:40

and that matters why?

KaanTech 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:41

and also he is arabic muslims mostly dont drink (says the muslim turkish guy who drinks all the time)

Rico_Mal1116 0

Monday 15 August 2011 8:49

Are you the same idiot who got so drunk they gave out there moms number..?

bananabuttercup 8

Monday 15 August 2011 8:55

Probably not. This person is obviously in England right now, and from the other person's speech style, it seems they are not British.

bananabuttercup 8

Monday 15 August 2011 8:58

Also, the location on the other one says she lives in Canada. So... Yeah.

hahahahepicfail 0

Monday 15 August 2011 9:00

GO CANADA!!! WOOHOO

koe4 0

Monday 15 August 2011 9:31

YAAAA!!!

hahahahepicfail 0

Monday 15 August 2011 9:33

YAAAAA!!!!!!! CANADA IS THE PLACE TO BE!!

Brool_Story_Co 17

Monday 15 August 2011 9:57

Can you guys stop going around like, "yay, Canada is the best." It gets annoying when you see stuff like that on every FML posted by a Canadian.

hannahtaskey 9

Monday 15 August 2011 10:52

I'm pretty sure it was a joke.... ^

Brool_Story_Co 17

Monday 15 August 2011 11:10

51- There were about four comments here that got deleted. 13/14 was replying to those, not the original comment.

Stealthed 8

Monday 15 August 2011 15:09

Nope, I'd say he's the champ who received it. Go get em son!

bellakaykid 6

Monday 15 August 2011 8:50

Water canons and chocolate... My favorite.

WHITE3TIGER 0

Monday 15 August 2011 13:16

no chocolate water cannons?

ollie179 21

Monday 15 August 2011 8:50

Why buy the chocolate when you can loot it?

AnagenisisZagus 13

Monday 15 August 2011 9:24

Right on, man.

hahahahepicfail 0

Monday 15 August 2011 9:39

I don't get it

faithxoxox 1

Monday 15 August 2011 10:04

They're referencing the riots, where most of it is trashing crap and looting.

hbbs93 6

Monday 15 August 2011 8:50

Riot!!!!

SoSickWithIt 14

Monday 15 August 2011 8:51

This reminds me of a certain scene in Scary Movie 2, where they were stuck in some sort of freezer type room, the dude ended up getting a hand job, and exploded and propelled the girl with what looked like a fire extinguisher going off, and her going flying back into the wall.