Intimacy: Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery.... - FML

By Noname - 07/01/2009 15:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 476

You deserved it 56 493

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Same thing different taste

By masterfail - 04/10/2009 05:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 483

You deserved it 19 812

By Moody - 28/10/2009 19:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 400

You deserved it 38 311

Oh, the humanity

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 18:00

Today, I was giving a presentation at work but accidentally spilled water all over my laptop. I tried to dry it off, but it wouldn't turn on. I had to give the presentation awkwardly using my phone and everyone took the piss out of me and my shoddy performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 244

By KDM - 05/02/2012 19:39 - Australia

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 958

You deserved it 6 607

Likely story

By thenerd - 24/03/2021 02:00

Today, I was doing an online live exam with the camera on when the power suddenly went out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 53

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 18:01 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 263

By "Anti_Sora" - 05/01/2019 00:00

Today, I turned in my final worth 20% of the grade. Today was also the day my internet decided to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 199

You deserved it 290

Tesla was robbed

By Fuck you, Tesla. - 21/09/2021 14:00

Today, my car ran out of battery. I'm writing this from the middle of the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 615

Slapstick

By aireun - 09/07/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, my laptop plug got stuck in the wall outlet. I stood there for 10 minutes violently trying to yank it out. My boss came in and screamed at me for making noise. I was angry, so I glared at him and yanked on the plug as hard as I could. It dislodged itself noiselessly and I fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 278

You deserved it 42 115

By Anonymous - 03/02/2016 15:29 - Australia - Hove

Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 272

You deserved it 1 474

Next

Top comments

WhatThePhuc 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 8:03

just use ur imagination

katers4life 0

Sunday 17 May 2009 20:10

uhmm plug it in? or think of me ;D

Comments

WhatThePhuc 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 8:03

just use ur imagination

tormcn 26

Thursday 2 April 2015 20:15

Or a hooker.. since I'm guessing he can't get a gf.

brumbo 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 23:00

Seriously if that is the worst way in which your life is ****** today, **** you.

Dillon13 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 7:43

"Seriously if that is the worst way in which your life is ****** today, **** you." You know, not extraordinarily horrible things happen to people every day. This just so happened to be theirs, and I would have been pissed if I was in his position too. So **** YOU!

peasonearth 8

Tuesday 12 July 2011 9:36

I think his point was that way worse things happen to people other then the guy not being able to get a girlfriend

3milyzabc 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 23:43

#8

firstnlast77 0

Friday 13 March 2009 3:43

that's why you have an inmagination dude

qwedfgcvb 1

Friday 13 March 2009 15:50

thats Y god gave us a some called a charger

WhyAmUHere 19

Sunday 14 October 2012 16:29

It's funny because God doesn't exist.

JustinMrBest91 10

Thursday 2 January 2014 0:42

#99 everyone has there own religious views

kaylabunny1999 22

Monday 20 July 2015 2:21

He also gave us a dictionary and english class

pinkfrenchrose 5

Sunday 15 March 2009 3:57

LOL @ #8.

Cowgirl1992 0

Monday 16 March 2009 9:33

thats just sad, im sorry..

phiniusmaster 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 2:57

Um..... *cough* IMAGINATION *cough*

cheyAnn 0

Monday 16 May 2011 23:57

you are hot

crazyme123 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 8:34

no past experiences to wank off to instead? all i can say is WOW -_- LOLZOR @ 9

Cold_Pizza_Eater 0

Thursday 15 July 2010 7:59

Sometimes I _Only_ use my imagination...

Victoria2103 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 23:21

Plug your computer in next time. ;P

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 354

You deserved it 79 642

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 593

You deserved it 3 759

The Top

Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 282

You deserved it 7 315

Today, a TV crew filmed my house for a real estate show. They got an actor to pretend he owned the place but wanted to move. The host kept saying how shit my house is, and while talking about me with his producer, he said, "Know how I know he ain't a fag? Fags can actually decorate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 931

You deserved it 1 173

Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 820

You deserved it 4 193

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. The kicker is, I'm 5 months pregnant and didn't even know it - no symptoms, nothing. I thought it was weight gain due to antidepressants and I'm also dealing with financial issues. I'm too far along to get an abortion, and adoption is not an option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 437

Today, I went on a few websites to ask for donations for a cheap car part, due to my husband not able to work due to COVID, and we live paycheck to paycheck. I've never had so many only negative comments basically calling me a piece of crap and other words I can't say on here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 415

Today, and for the first time in my life, I was unable to trust a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 224