Health: Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while...

By anditburnsburnsburns - 27/08/2013 18:13 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 290

You deserved it 20 768

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Same thing different taste

By Snow - 07/02/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 767

You deserved it 35 095

By crazyvulva9216 - 27/01/2009 01:17 - United States

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 829

You deserved it 68 915

By Steve - 24/02/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 677

You deserved it 36 210

By Anonymous - 03/10/2015 10:57 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 204

You deserved it 2 317

By jjoker - 30/12/2018 14:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I went to the toilet to do a number 2. As I went to wipe, the toilet paper slipped out of my hand and I before my brain could register, I wiped my ass with my bare hand.. I also had curry the night before, so yeah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 304

You deserved it 948

By Anonymous - 19/04/2011 03:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I was putting red nail polish on my nails and put a newspaper on the table to make sure that it didn't spill. I later discovered the nail polish made the newspaper stick to the table. I scrubbed nail polish remover on it, thinking it would help but instead bleached the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 031

You deserved it 40 326

By adrenochrome - 09/02/2009 09:21 - Lithuania

Today, I learnt that nail polish remover is, in fact, VERY flammable. And I learnt it the hard way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 900

You deserved it 43 235

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 20/08/2022 12:00

Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 265

Happy Easter!

By Dummy - 01/04/2018 15:00

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 740

You deserved it 1 431

By Anonymous - 10/03/2010 20:53 - United States

Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 430

You deserved it 61 476

jstorie95 8

Tuesday 27 August 2013 22:28

Sounds like a pain in the ass

elJefe98 8

Tuesday 27 August 2013 22:29

Nailed it!

Comments

thatnucca 36

Tuesday 27 August 2013 23:07

When multitasking burns with glittering side effects.

alleybean123 7

Tuesday 27 August 2013 23:12

That sucks. Hope you get better!

jw90 18

Tuesday 27 August 2013 23:13

Is your ass all sparkly now?

zelf_fml 11

Tuesday 27 August 2013 23:21

Ah well, better like this than your hands covered in..... Hm guess either way is crap.

RockySnakes 10

Wednesday 28 August 2013 1:06

maybe stop multitasking

Zynris 10

Wednesday 28 August 2013 2:01

Acetone and asshole should never be in the same sentence.

why57why 21

Wednesday 28 August 2013 4:24

Nope nope nope nope nope ouch

jmacfan1 16

Wednesday 28 August 2013 4:43

Ouch. Just reading that hurt me.

pazuzus_intern 10

Wednesday 28 August 2013 6:20

What were you late for that warranted removing your fingernail polish while taking a shit?!

Poetaster 10

Wednesday 28 August 2013 7:04

Never polish your beaver whilst reliving ones self.

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The Top

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and I was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 760

You deserved it 15 563

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 236

You deserved it 37 867

The Top

Today, during the opening night performance of our schools musical, while I wasn't on stage I decided to use the restroom. I came out to find two of my fellow actresses putting their hands over my mouth. Apparently, I had left my microphone on and everyone heard me using the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 813

You deserved it 12 778

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 169

You deserved it 4 719

Today, we're having my grandmother over. Because we don't have a guest room, she is sleeping in mine. It is 25°C at night and she is sleeping naked with her dog right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 016

You deserved it 359

Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 566

You deserved it 4 043

Today, as I squatted down to get a snack, my pajama pants ripped wide open. I guess the universe is try to tell me something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 435

You deserved it 1 850

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 478

You deserved it 6 539

Same thing different taste

Ring of fire

Happy Easter!

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