Health: Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return...

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 034

You deserved it 2 310

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Same thing different taste

No shit

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 11:00 - Australia - Aspley

Today, I had a dream that I was having one of the best poops of my life. I woke up feeling very content and relaxed, until I rolled over and realised it wasn't a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 213

By sadddddd - 11/09/2011 01:54 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 873

You deserved it 3 266

By Fark - 27/05/2010 22:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 320

You deserved it 4 957

Number one or number two?

By Anonymous - 25/09/2023 13:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that the myth about what happens when you dream you're going to the toilet is not entirely untrue. At least for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 73

You sleep in your pants?

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 18:30 - United States - Randolph

Today, I dreamt that I was using the toilet. The toilet was a dream, but the rest wasn't. My pants were soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 154

Panic in the sheets of Luton…

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 19:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I had a dream in which I was having a panic attack. When I woke up, I was actually having a panic attack. Double the fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 103

Nearly did a Jimi Hendrix

By Courtney - 30/10/2022 14:00

Today, I had a dream in which I was throwing up. Turns out it wasn’t a dream and I woke up to puke all over the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 109

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 030

You deserved it 9 025

By watersport - 10/03/2010 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 160

You deserved it 4 318

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 549

StevoKing666 18

Saturday 21 November 2015 23:10

Congrats on the six pack

oiler 21

Saturday 21 November 2015 23:12

A 6 pack without the hassel? Nice!

Comments

JosephKorso 15

Sunday 22 November 2015 12:03

So, did you give the friend one of your newfound beers when he got back or what?

mwolop 9

Sunday 22 November 2015 16:21

Pics of the 6 pack!

loubabe69 19

Sunday 22 November 2015 16:44

That's the weirdest dream I've ever heard. Really!!

jeffprobs 29

Sunday 22 November 2015 17:42

Dreams often come true but not the ones you want

Xion0014 20

Sunday 22 November 2015 18:09

Ah the smell of new abs!

iLuvfatchickz 4

Sunday 22 November 2015 19:44

So wait all I have to do to get six pack abs is to shit myself in my dreams?!?! Count me in!

vikky538 28

Sunday 22 November 2015 23:38

So we should call it house ********

PrideOfTheFallen 19

Monday 23 November 2015 14:35

I'm seriously dying lmao

SweetPuppy201 11

Monday 23 November 2015 16:47

congrats on the six pack :D

BabylonHunter 4

Tuesday 24 November 2015 4:54

Hopefully you got the abs part :)

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Cops Weird Health Scary Stressed out Parents Embarrassing Transportation Cars Work Love My ex LGBTQIA+ First Dates Facebook Social Media Virginity Sex Intimacy Painful School Awkward Dating Tinder Coworkers AITA Jealousy Anxiety

The Top

Today, I'm 25 and still a virgin. At this point I'm not sure to feel embarrassed or proud. Imagine being 25 and not know what the fuck you are doing in the bedroom. I don't know who it would be more awkward for, me or them. Maybe I'll just avoid human interaction all together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 146

Today, I'd planned a DIY 'treat yourself' spa day at home. I put on a face mask and settled to relax in a bubble bath. Just as I was getting out of the tub, I slipped on the wet floor and crashed into the wall, leaving a perfect imprint of the face mask on the tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 113

The Top

Today, I found out that my roommate is starting a religion in which he doesn't believe in humanly things, such as paying rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 154

Today, marks the third girlfriend in a row that has broken up with me for my terrible dandruff. I can't control it as I was born with psoriasis. All three girls called me pathetic for "making up" a disease to try to get them to stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 301

You deserved it 1 972

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 399

You deserved it 4 293

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 012

You deserved it 213

Today, at midnight, I heard my son calling for his mom. I stopped by his room and asked him what was wrong? He didn't tell me. Instead, he said: "Oh, I don't need you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 864

You deserved it 213

Today, I once again came to the realization of how boring my life is when I noticed that the stray cat in my yard walks in a really silly manner, and I watched it for what seemed like an eternity, utterly fascinated, until it left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 150

Same thing different taste

No shit

Number one or number two?

You sleep in your pants?

Panic in the sheets of Luton…

Nearly did a Jimi Hendrix

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

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