Health: Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization,...

By Broderick - 26/03/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 068

You deserved it 6 960

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 510

You deserved it 3 861

By Anon - 24/03/2012 02:42 - United States

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 406

You deserved it 32 281

Shout the victory

By dogpatch087 - 02/01/2020 03:00 - United States - Ventura

Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 500

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 20:44 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 624

You deserved it 8 869

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 16:52 - United States

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 406

You deserved it 32 980

It hurts when I pee

By yomamma787 - 24/11/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 892

You deserved it 54 444

By romea244 - 14/08/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 660

You deserved it 27 064

By Kira - 24/04/2015 17:09 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 911

You deserved it 13 562

By anonymous - 25/06/2016 20:03 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 527

You deserved it 947

By Anonymous - 15/05/2016 14:03 - United States - Salem

Today, I had my first real break from work in ages, so I decided to go hiking. Less than 20 minutes in, I tumbled a couple hundred feet down a steep hill, broke my leg and several toes, and lay there in agony for an eternity before I was finally rescued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 882

You deserved it 1 954

Blazingcrono 6

Saturday 26 March 2011 12:11

I'm a bit confused on why you just didn't take the needles out by hand. Sure, it's slower and a bit more painful, but at this point, it really doesn't matter how much pain you're going to get.

HeavyMetalViking 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 16:25

Duct tape to remove cactus thorns? What a rip off.

Comments

Tweety122888 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 19:30

Tweezers?

ashole1990 10

Saturday 26 March 2011 22:40

Shit. Better drink your own piss.

lizbiz5694 4

Saturday 26 March 2011 23:27

use wax. like leg hair waxing stuff. it works every time!

dansco 24

Sunday 27 March 2011 3:37

Are you stupid? Yes, using duct tape to remove cactus thorns! This proves you shouldn't be allowed out with out your carer ;)

Cheesehead72 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 4:11

ydi for going hiking.

8r4d1ey 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 5:12

this is the Internet ppl, not a English paper, those of you who grammar Nazi ppl have lost sight of what this site is about, to be entertained. If you want to correct ppls writing become an English teacher, then you can make yourself feel smart by correct peoples grammar all day. and I also think a site as unique and cool as this shouldn't be taking away ppls freedom of speech by moderating everything, I know it's quality control, but come on it's the Internet.