By fingerhut - 03/03/2012 08:27 - United States
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running is the best solution to constipation
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aww shit. hopes you read the funnys to make up for the unfortunate event.
3yellowzebras
19
Sunday paper? Today's Saturday? Right?
12 maybe his 'clock' likes to run a day ahead?
Or, and I'm just throwing out a crazy hypothesis here, maybe this happened LAST Sunday! I know it sounds impossible, but wait a second. Just hear me out...this is all making sense now! Maybe ALL FMLs start with "Today" but not all of them actually HAPPENED today! Crazy? Impossible? Or just implausible? Is your mind blown yet?
3yellowzebras
19
Doc, you have truly blown my mind on that one, I bow to your greatness, but who goes out for a jog with a paper, unless they are improvising as they lost their baton?
Maybe they live on the other side of the international date line? Or they're a time traveller. The world's crappiest time traveller.
mojo5678
5
Congrats DocBastard. You've fully lived up to your name. No need to be such and asshole
ArielTheMermaid
17
OP lives in California
22 - OP possibly bought the paper on the jogging route. Just a though.
hotPinklipstick
24
Many states have an early edition Sunday paper that comes out Saturday morning. These early editions include everything that is going to be printed in the Sunday edition Sunday paper, unless breaking news has happened between the printing of the early edition and the normal edition.
Now that's what I call a special delivery.
Doc, what is in that poor guy's brain?
That's a brain? I thought it was an ameba.
I don't know why but instead of thinking OP hid somewhere to poo I had imagined she had pooed herself and ran home holding the newspaper over her bum to hide the stain.
I was imagining that the poop just slid out a pant leg out & the paper was used to pick it up!
omarzrgz
3
I would have just left it there for the next unfortunate person that needs to poop while their running.
Who the hell would pick up the deposited log??
omarzrgz
3
Not to pick it up, so they can step on it or something
so you're reading the newspaper while jogging...?
Next time, carry the National Enquirer or The Sun for convenient toilet paper on the go. No need to waste the funnies. ;)
Holy hell, that wasn't meant to be a reply. Ignore the above comment.
I don't know why but my first thought was they shit into the paper.
porcupineattack1
5
Let's hope the neighbors didn't catch this.
I fell bad I've done something like that befor!????
*felt, *before, should be a period between bad and I've. I'm giving you a D and I want to talk to you after class.
Badly*
Your excessive use of question marks shows a great sign that you are an idiot.
If the question marks show that, what does the single exclamation point reveal?
Why would it be badly? You just made it make no sense
It happens OP. That doesn't make it any more fun though. Luckily, thus far, I've not had to use the restroom on a run or had an out of control moment but i know of runners who have. One just exploded on himself. Ick. Glad you didn't explode on yourself op.
The shitty headline deserves it.
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That's what Tabloids are for nowadays anyway.
Lolol, at least it wasn't as bad as it could be, there will probably soon be another fml story from the guy whose yard you used