Kids: Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic... - FML

By sorry, kiddo - 30/06/2013 21:44 - Belgium - Brussels

Spicy

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 454

You deserved it 10 180

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

The birds and the bees

By Anonymous - 23/08/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Spicy

Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 98

By anonymousyo - 24/04/2015 22:04 - United States - Vacaville

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 147

You deserved it 4 226

Words are hard

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 18:50 - United States - Temperance

Spicy

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 885

You deserved it 3 482

By Anonymous - 19/01/2015 14:34 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 674

You deserved it 7 551

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 10:34 - United States - Bessemer

Spicy

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 527

You deserved it 15 211

Protips from Dad

By Anonymous - 08/01/2023 15:00

Spicy

Today, my son asked his mom about sex, so she talked about love, marriage, God, affection and all that bollocks, missing the point that he wanted to know about having good sex since he has a girlfriend now, so I explained all the wet, squishy practical bits of sex. Now my wife is mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 1 245

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 488

You deserved it 2 883

Sex Ed is broken

By asnolt - 24/05/2011 22:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 692

You deserved it 9 362

Prissy

By Anonymous - 29/07/2009 16:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 561

You deserved it 7 280

By cahsecuel - 14/08/2014 20:44 - France - Grisolles

Spicy

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 638

You deserved it 7 131

Next

Top comments

relaxedninja 18

Monday 1 July 2013 1:56

What do you mean they rarely happen!!??! D:

ballettillidie 8

Monday 1 July 2013 1:58

They rarely happen in YOUR world...

Comments

KBurns207 17

Monday 1 July 2013 2:29

Well don't COMPLETELY crush his dreams. Inform him on the wonders of college.

perdix 29

Monday 1 July 2013 2:30

You're telling me! I have a hard time getting all but two of my ladies to go away for a while and give just three of us some alone time.

TwinkleToes7 15

Monday 1 July 2013 2:49

Your boyfriend is a pansy

TwinkleToes7 15

Monday 1 July 2013 4:08

No for crying over something so stupid, and I just realized it was her son I thought she said boyfriend.

summerguy97 16

Monday 1 July 2013 4:41

They're both dudes.

LissaMccracken 23

Monday 1 July 2013 5:28

Haha 2 fails in a row! Congratulations!

gameover18 17

Monday 1 July 2013 2:59

They don't happen...???? EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!!!

arre2006 19

Monday 1 July 2013 3:15

If he's crying over that then the kid has no hope in ever getting laid. What a wuss

stewpididiot 11

Monday 1 July 2013 3:37

Soon he'll be wondering what else you were wrong about....

Iniezian 18

Monday 1 July 2013 3:41

Not with the upcoming VR full-immersion sex game they aren't.

lbrown66 12

Monday 1 July 2013 4:05

What a horrible thing to tell a young boy! The more the merrier I say!

inolongercare 19

Monday 1 July 2013 4:26

Why are you talking about **** to your son? Hopefully he is young and you just caught him being curious....

BromineAddict 7

Monday 1 July 2013 4:37

Saw this on iFunny xD

1
2
3
4
5
6
7

Keywords

Gamers Video games Love Weird Gross Health First Dates Smells Parents Technology Annoying Kids Jealousy Animals Dogs AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Amazon Money Cute Birthday Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams

The Top

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 568

You deserved it 2 470

Today, I was driving to visit my parents for the first time in two years. After spending about $4000 to make sure my car wouldn't break down on the journey, around the halfway point, the front tire popped and the engine blew out. I'm about 5 states away from both my parents and my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 732

You deserved it 490

The Top

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 611

You deserved it 5 241

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 249

You deserved it 34 478

Today, I called in sick at work and went to the bar, only to find out that my manager has a second job there. I am now jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 704

You deserved it 8 630

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 047

You deserved it 24 088

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 031

You deserved it 31 551

Today, my son still sticks his fingers in plug sockets, cuts charging cables for devices, licks batteries and so on, because he enjoys the electric shocks, he thinks they are funny so I can’t even trust him when he sleeps at night, in case he wakes up while we’re asleep and does something stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 183