Kids: Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic... - FML

By sorry, kiddo - 30/06/2013 21:44 - Belgium - Brussels

Spicy

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 454

You deserved it 10 180

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Same thing different taste

The birds and the bees

By Anonymous - 23/08/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Spicy

Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML

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You deserved it 98

By anonymousyo - 24/04/2015 22:04 - United States - Vacaville

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 147

You deserved it 4 226

Words are hard

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 18:50 - United States - Temperance

Spicy

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 885

You deserved it 3 482

By Anonymous - 19/01/2015 14:34 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 674

You deserved it 7 551

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 10:34 - United States - Bessemer

Spicy

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 527

You deserved it 15 211

Protips from Dad

By Anonymous - 08/01/2023 15:00

Spicy

Today, my son asked his mom about sex, so she talked about love, marriage, God, affection and all that bollocks, missing the point that he wanted to know about having good sex since he has a girlfriend now, so I explained all the wet, squishy practical bits of sex. Now my wife is mad at me. FML

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You deserved it 1 245

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 488

You deserved it 2 883

Sex Ed is broken

By asnolt - 24/05/2011 22:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

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You deserved it 9 362

Prissy

By Anonymous - 29/07/2009 16:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 561

You deserved it 7 280

By cahsecuel - 14/08/2014 20:44 - France - Grisolles

Spicy

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 638

You deserved it 7 131

Next

Top comments

relaxedninja 18

Monday 1 July 2013 1:56

What do you mean they rarely happen!!??! D:

ballettillidie 8

Monday 1 July 2013 1:58

They rarely happen in YOUR world...

Comments

sugarbaby9908 20

Monday 1 July 2013 19:34

At least he has high hopes

Omniprism 14

Monday 1 July 2013 19:54

Don't feel bad. He needs to know so he doesn't put unrealistic expectations on a girl and creating problems in his relationships.

AshAsh014 4

Monday 1 July 2013 22:57

Why were you talking to your son about that in the firat place...

LissaMccracken 23

Monday 1 July 2013 23:31

Yes, because its weird for a parent to give their child the sex talk. He probably walked in on him watching ****

QueenOrangeSoda 21

Wednesday 3 July 2013 17:56

Because it's crucial for teens to know. It regards establishing a healthy, realistic view of sex and what to expect, and goes right along with the safe sex talk.

NotSoPerfecTgirl 8

Monday 1 July 2013 23:03

False!! I'm a girl. I live with my boyfriend and girlfriend. We are a faithful poly traid, and we have 3somes DAILY. :)

LissaMccracken 23

Monday 1 July 2013 23:32

He didn't say they never happen, he said rarely, and I have a feeling you posted this comment for attention.

QueenOrangeSoda 21

Thursday 11 July 2013 1:54

Exactly. And the fact that you mentioned your (irrelevant) gender just proves it more.

mld4657 28

Tuesday 2 July 2013 2:16

Umm maybe in your life they rarely happen but they happen in my life.. And I'm even married :-P

kalbrek009 20

Tuesday 2 July 2013 5:59

The fact that he started crying tells me that he is not only (probably) too young to be watching **** (much less having sex) but he's also not mature enough mentally/emotionally to be attempting such things.

Phsycodude12 0

Thursday 4 July 2013 1:14

They happen a lot I have had three. Though now I have 2 kids. Different moms.

mparrish397 0

Thursday 4 July 2013 2:22

I just had one last night... Lol

nevaeh_dewdrop 12

Friday 12 July 2013 18:35

how old is ur son?

ohnobitch 8

Sunday 14 July 2013 18:16

Jeezus luweezus how old is this kid

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Keywords

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The Top

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Today, my friends and I noticed that people, no matter what stereotype, pretty much all have the same type of friends: the mean one, the funny one, etc., and started naming off the people in our group who fit into those personalities. We got to the token fat one, everyone looked at me and stopped talking. FML

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