Health and Swimming pool: Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got...

By mathii - 23/07/2011 23:52 - France

Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 767

You deserved it 6 156

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 435

You deserved it 7 721

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 935

You deserved it 44 852

Draining

By grlzze444 - 16/11/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 474

You deserved it 4 145

Baywatch music starts

By Anonymous - 01/05/2019 12:00

Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 058

You deserved it 618

By fat teen - 05/06/2016 23:33 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 524

You deserved it 2 323

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 127

You deserved it 6 201

Baywatch

By Anonymous - 02/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 344

You deserved it 488

By anonymous - 10/06/2009 22:50 - United States

Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 720

You deserved it 4 670

By Anonymous - 04/07/2014 19:04 - Netherlands

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 938

You deserved it 3 434

Baywatch

By Jenn - 16/12/2016 00:50

Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 224

You deserved it 836

TipsfromSips 3

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:30

just keep swimming just keep swimming just keep swimming...

davex 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:29

Swim Forrest swim!

Comments

LuhDemDinosaurz 6

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:39

Wow. it's like *Op passes out in pool* Instructor: "NO. THIS IS FLOATING PRACTICE. ITS SWIM PRACTICE. START MOVING."

LuhDemDinosaurz 6

Sunday 24 July 2011 3:13

Isn't *

krysxkatastrophe 14

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:40

He is NOT doing his job. Report him ASAP!

mady90G 5

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:44

Your instructor sounds like a lovely person. Hope you're okay.

kaylaaa1312 3

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:44

could you even get a girlfriend?...

SadinSherman 16

Sunday 24 July 2011 18:48

What does that have to do with anything?

Vmonster 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:45

sounds a bit like something my swim coach would say.

BAMF519 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:46

Haha this was a really funny fml!

troll565 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:51

r u a rokstar

justbigbs 6

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:55

Thats what the figure is for

jonmansheppard 9

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:55

Sue him for that, then yell "Pay, bitch!"

selbow 3

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:55

all you had to do was hold your breath and sink down to the bottom for a bit. even if you passed out, which is likely since you already were breathless and dizzy, he'd have saved you. plus you get free mouth to mouth

xcarxcrashx 9

Sunday 24 July 2011 6:47

I was thinking the same thing. Just pretend to drown then he'd have to save you and he'd look like a douche for not letting you stop when you needed too.