Love: Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie....

By Anonymous - 07/08/2012 20:13 - Canada - Pierrefonds

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 626

You deserved it 3 529

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Same thing different taste

Bad omen

By pupitre - 18/10/2011 00:16 - Canada

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 486

You deserved it 4 951

By joking0303 - 16/07/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 130

You deserved it 6 461

By kill the audience - 10/11/2016 17:51 - United States - Lewes

Today, I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my blind date to come. I had sat for an hour until I finally got fed up and went to leave when at the same time the guy at the table next to me stood up to leave too. I noticed he had been sitting alone. Turns out he was my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 453

You deserved it 2 014

By Anonymous - 13/03/2013 23:22 - United States

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 378

You deserved it 4 317

Take the W

By FML - 18/01/2012 19:41 - United States

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said, "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is that low. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 760

You deserved it 4 773

By sadness - 12/10/2012 02:48 - United States - Metairie

Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 399

You deserved it 2 278

Grab the balls by the horn, dude

By Anonymous - 09/09/2019 18:00

Today, the only girl I've ever had eyes for said she can't find any good single men, all while sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 544

By ug - 08/07/2009 20:51 - Canada

Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 736

You deserved it 4 548

First Dates

By mildver - 20/04/2009 04:51 - Costa Rica

Today, I went to a date with a girl I thought liked me. We sat down at a restaurant, ordered some food and started talking. After 30 minutes, she said with a sigh of relief, "THANK GOD! There's my dad. Now I can leave. Bye, thanks for the dinner." The food hadn't even arrived yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 677

You deserved it 4 602

By yum. - 10/04/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, I went out to eat with some friends. They picked a table that wasn't big enough for all of us. I had to sit in the booth behind them. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 418

You deserved it 4 742

MissEmma_fml 22

Wednesday 8 August 2012 0:32

Forever alone.

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 8 August 2012 0:32

You didn't look far enough. The real love of your life is the buffet across the room. Send me an invitation to the wedding.

Comments

Calyx_fml 21

Wednesday 8 August 2012 1:35

Love that empty chair like it was the last love you will ever have.

Oceanlondon 5

Wednesday 8 August 2012 1:38

imaginary friends for life.

teresee 8

Wednesday 8 August 2012 1:39

It's like the cause of old cat ladies all over the world. Darn those fortune cookies.

Kallian_fml 21

Wednesday 8 August 2012 1:43

Was it a sexy chair? O.o

LonelyLoser93 3

Wednesday 8 August 2012 2:07

Trolled by a fortune cookie. Lol just teasing. Sorry OP, don't worry you'll find the love of your life when you least expect it. Chin up. :)

jman112 2

Wednesday 8 August 2012 2:08

That chair is meant for you

dossome 1

Wednesday 8 August 2012 2:24

What a coincidence! They had picture on Funny Pics that describes your exact same situation. Weird

holierthanbloodx 5

Wednesday 8 August 2012 2:26

Defective fortune?

stormchaser24 24

Wednesday 8 August 2012 2:38

It is just a damn cookie, they have thousands that say the same thing. But could be worse, like it could have been your sister. FOREVER ALONE? FYL

DylansMomma 9

Wednesday 8 August 2012 2:46

Your comment : Haha, that's hilarious! Sucks to be you OP, if you believe in those things.

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The Top

Today, I was at a wedding reception. Everyone got offended when I threw my hands up and backed off to avoid catching the garter and let the two guys on either side fight for it. Nothing but laughs for the cousin who grabbed the bouquet out of someone else's hand and punched her, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 84

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said, "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 521

You deserved it 12 734

The Top

Today, my mother-in-law texted to wish me a happy birthday. She spelled my name wrong and it's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 856

You deserved it 322

Today, I fell down a set of stairs while going into my basement. With a horrible pain in my left leg, I called out to my boyfriend to help me. Apparently a commercial about grass was more important. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 701

You deserved it 3 866

Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 673

You deserved it 64 628

Today, I checked my e-mail after being sick for over a week to see that I missed an important email. It said I got the job I applied for, if I responded to the message within 48 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 496

You deserved it 1 959

Today, I found out about of my ex, who I was with for 6 years, getting married. Normally I wouldn’t care, except she rejected my marriage proposal just about a year ago, saying she wanted to “be single for a while and wasn’t ready.” I can’t help but think what does the other dude have that I don’t have that made her change her mind? FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 153

Today, my girlfriend and I enjoyed a lovely shower together. It was indeed lovely until her father came into the washroom to say “Welcome to the family!” whilst taking a giant shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 641

You deserved it 588