Intimacy: Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with...

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 273

You deserved it 3 172

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/08/2015 18:08 - United States - East Northport

Today, I was unaware that me losing my virginity was also breakup sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 098

You deserved it 3 229

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 404

You deserved it 8 025

By Anonymous - 17/01/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 095

You deserved it 7 018

Testing the waters

By Anonymousss95 - 10/12/2011 12:03 - Sweden

Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 693

You deserved it 13 384

By Scorned - 16/09/2018 06:00

Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 836

You deserved it 345

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 799

You deserved it 13 025

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:24 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 268

You deserved it 3 705

By Perdito_Coño - 05/09/2014 20:55 - Australia - Quakers Hill

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 740

You deserved it 7 611

Let down

By anonymous - 21/06/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 214

You deserved it 17 253

By Anonymous - 02/05/2015 02:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 003

You deserved it 4 133

Safiya_fml 8

Monday 30 March 2015 12:18

you didnt have sex with her after that, right?

clitoria 15

Monday 30 March 2015 12:19

"Yes because obviously I can read your bitchy-ass mind." I'm real sorry, that's ******.

Comments

AkaPanda 12

Tuesday 31 March 2015 12:23

This much better people in the world and hopefully you find one.

aguywithapanda 10

Tuesday 31 March 2015 13:27

It's situations like this that make the "never hit a woman" thing not always set in stone. That girl deserves to get ktfo

Corneliapresent 13

Tuesday 31 March 2015 21:29

That hurts, I hope you find the one and have lots and lots of awesome, full of love and fire sex

pacmanman 15

Tuesday 31 March 2015 22:03

Should have whipped the condom off, slapped her with it and left.

Malcazar 22

Wednesday 1 April 2015 9:02

**** it...literally!

NormaBates 10

Wednesday 1 April 2015 22:59

Is there such thing called "Break-up sex ?". How weird.

KLuke2015 12

Thursday 2 April 2015 5:01

Take what you can get.

Dragonskiss 9

Thursday 2 April 2015 9:17

Bro feelz

cxlvin 10

Thursday 2 April 2015 11:45

At least you are close ....

Tsukiyomi 16

Thursday 2 April 2015 16:59

If that was me, I would have said "Ah... AH YOU THINK THIS IS HAREM OF THE DEAD HUGE SNATCHED **** NUGGET?!" Buts that's just me

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The Top

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 049

You deserved it 4 456

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 098

You deserved it 20 811

The Top

Today, I was involved in a debate. Things got out of control, insults were hurled, and by the end friends were lost. The subject of the debate? Whether snot has enough calories in it to be nutritional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 921

You deserved it 6 071

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 859

You deserved it 5 367

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 948

You deserved it 3 358

Today, I tried to show off my dance moves at a party and ended up falling through a glass table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 897

Today, I drove in heavy rain for the first time, by myself. I had been told to drive below the speed limit, and be extra careful of the cars around me. Nobody had told me about thunder scaring a cow that would then escape from the corral and hit my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 723

You deserved it 1 802

Today, during a meeting, the president of the honor society apologized for being out for a couple of days due to the flu, and wanted to get everything back on track. I mumbled that she hadn't shown good leadership by being out. I guess she heard me, because she said, “Neither does being a teen mom.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 6 279

Same thing different taste

No good

Testing the waters

Let down

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