Work: Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant...

By Anonymous - 21/05/2015 20:41 - United States

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 029

You deserved it 3 261

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Same thing different taste

By Tasty - 19/07/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I went into a restaurant and sat at a bar near three guys who appeared to be 19 or 20. They did not acknowledge me. 15 minutes later, my burger arrived. They all ran over to ask me about it. I haven't been hit on in months. My cheeseburger is more attractive to men than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 158

You deserved it 6 920

Rude

By -_- - 22/09/2013 18:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 386

You deserved it 6 121

Nice try old man

By Chris - 23/12/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, I submitted my application to a restaurant as a server. The manager, who is more than 30 years older than me, said he'd be calling me. He later texted me asking for a date instead of giving me a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 341

You deserved it 2 246

By Anonymous - 06/02/2011 17:53 - United States

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 755

You deserved it 30 564

Pleased to meet you

By footinmouth - 13/09/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 991

You deserved it 14 063

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 16:20 - Canada - Sherbrooke

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 273

You deserved it 3 917

Close shave

By Gears - 29/04/2019 16:00

Today, I had dinner at a local fast-food joint. There's an employee there that I usually talk to and flirt with, so I thought maybe it was time to ask for her number. After a small conversation and almost getting to the point, she told me, "I'm 17." I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 189

You deserved it 780

By serverdessert - 08/03/2009 21:02 - United States

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 560

You deserved it 19 287

By morg2000 - 17/02/2009 23:23 - Mexico

Today, I went out to dinner with my family. I was given a kids menu when the hostess sat us down. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 579

You deserved it 3 166

By Tyler - 19/11/2011 07:58 - United States

Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 785

You deserved it 3 083

TheCookieComet 23

Friday 22 May 2015 0:54

I guess you got buns hun.

cutycat136 28

Friday 22 May 2015 0:54

Should have just brushed it off and said sorry sir, I believe you may be in the wrong place for that dish. Try ordering something on the menu please

Comments

littlepiglola 14

Friday 22 May 2015 18:10

Well did you give it to him?

toxic324x 17

Friday 22 May 2015 18:35

Hey they could of been gay

KrDizzy 16

Friday 22 May 2015 18:38

Now you know how we feel on a daily basis with you nasty pervs. Get over it lol.

iwood214 14

Friday 22 May 2015 18:58

Maybe that one is gay. Except I wouldn't want older men saying that to me either. Hopefully you were able to laugh it off!

ometzit 4

Friday 22 May 2015 20:08

You and your twink ass have all the fault

shadowshalf 8

Friday 22 May 2015 21:02

It's not their fault you have a nice ass ptf

orsombre_fml 11

Friday 22 May 2015 21:53

I hope you thought of thanking him for the compliment ;-)

writerchic85 25

Friday 22 May 2015 23:30

Bring him an order of rump roast

Ninja_Porcupine 13

Friday 22 May 2015 23:59

Everybody is ok with this, but if he was a girl everyone would be saying that's gross and its sexual harassment

cainchild 4

Friday 19 June 2015 19:15

Much like violence, it's only bad if it happens to females. The fact that he is part of the patriarchy , means he deserved it.

Tyjw924 3

Saturday 23 May 2015 0:57

Written by some straight boy... How's it feel to be hit on like you probably hit on women?!

Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Family Kids Fight Love Students Relatable Work Animals Sleep Birds Noise Mental health Contraception Medication Racism Relationship advice Cheating Pregnancy Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Revenge Food Cats

The Top

Today, my best friend’s girlfriend took his phone and blocked me on Facebook, all because I wrote him a heartfelt Happy Birthday message on his wall. I found out because he messaged me from another account explaining what happened. She refuses to understand that we’re strictly platonic friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 117

Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 179

The Top

Today, I’m 8 months pregnant. The father says the he won’t come to any more appointments, the baby shower, or even the birth unless his new girlfriend is allowed to be in the room when I deliver. I said absolutely not, so he told me to never call him again, and blocked me. They’ve been together for 2 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 219

Today, after holding it in for hours, I finally managed to run to the bathroom for a pee. I thought it was impossible for rats to climb up the sewer pipes and into the toilet, but apparently I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 2 732

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 407

You deserved it 43 018

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 536

You deserved it 9 858

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, when suddenly at the end of dinner he gets down on one knee, takes out an engagement ring, and says, "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137 608

You deserved it 33 374

Today, I haven't shaved for so long the hair on my legs has split ends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 587

You deserved it 11 600