Having children is usually something that's discussed BEFORE people get married though. If he agreed to it beforehand, and is having second thoughts now, that's grounds for divorce.

Doesn't mean you can't complain about it.

But people change....i know personally I loved the idea of kids a few years ago and now - well let's just say kids aren't in the budget

That may be the case, but if he's agreed to work at getting her pregnant and starting a family, the key days for sex are limited. It would be selfish of him to "be too tired" on those days after all she's put in to prepare because it leads to waiting another month for ovulation.

So if a couple decided to have a child and the woman was too exhausted for one reason or another while she was ovulating and didn't feel like having sex that specific day, would you be okay with her husband telling her she's selfish for not spreading her legs? You ovulate once a month, not once a year, and you can get pregnant even if it's not your peak day. OP has a right to feel frustrated and vent, but nobody is EVER obligated to have sex, regardless of the circumstances. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you're forced to have sex, being married doesn't and wanting a child doesn't either.

Thank you, that's what I ment by my comment, I understand that she would get frustrated and annoyed I don't blame her for that she's done a lot of work to prepare and she's done well but if she was too tired would it of been different?

Rape works both ways and can be done in a relationship as well. If she was too tired would you call her selfish? I know she has worked hard and she should be proud of herself. There is probably more to this story than meets the eye.

clearly I'm just really bad at communicating and should just never speak again. I get the rape thing since it's a regular occurrence in my marriage and has been going on well over 10 years. I didn't mean the comment to come across as it did. I meant if he has agreed it is mean and inconsiderate know g what she's put into preparing. again, I'm a ******* idiot and hope horrible things on myself for even bothering to speak. cross your fingers

Don't even bother reading that. Just ignore me. I'll go into invisible mode from now on.

You could just wait for a guy to post an fml that he lost a lot of weight and has done the necessary things to be ready for sex to get his wife pregnant so he can become a Father (Dad). But his wife is too tired to have sex for whatever reason. It's not just women that want to have sex and become a parent. (Sweet double standard?)

You really need to look up the definition of "everyone". The majority of people commenting thus far are actually more or less on the husband's side.

78 I think you need to double check the comments because it seems like very few people are on the husbands side.

So every person that has ever felt too tired for sex is a bad parent and would probably neglect their children if they had any? Seriously, the people on this post piss me off. Sex is NOT a chore, and you don't ever get to pressure anybody into having it, no matter what your reasons are. Consent is still a thing even after you get married, and even if you want to have children. If both partners don't consent freely and enthusiastically, sex is not going to happen - because women aren't walking incubators and men aren't walking sperm banks, and if you don't respect your partner enough to see that they still get a choice in whether or not to sleep with you, you really shouldn't be in a relationship. The FML is phrased pretty ambivalently, and without having more information it's pretty hard to tell if OP meant that he had one job in the process in general (as in, providing the sperm) and has rejected her on one occasion because he was tired, or if he was tired thoughout the whole thing and hasn't had sex with her even once.

She wants a kid. It's not going to destroy what's she's just built, because what she's trying to build is a family. Stop saying everything is a double standard. If this was about a husband who was trying to have a kid win his wife, but she didn't want to have sex, people would agree that HLS. Just like they are now. Nowhere does it say he doesn't want to have a child, so don't use that as a basis for your complaint. It may seem like he doesn't, but perhaps he is just tired. Or scared. Or not in the mood. OP probably, like most couples, has discussed having children with her husband, so I think she knows better than you if he wants kids or not.

Im on your side. If a man wanted sex and the woman was like "no" you know there would be backlash from the women about how they arent ***** and no means no.