Miscellaneous: Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie....

By troll of a gran - 08/01/2013 17:10 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 832

You deserved it 4 850

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Same thing different taste

Stunned silence

By Anonymous - 20/12/2014 22:42 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 172

You deserved it 3 901

By Momlovesme - 08/08/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 246

You deserved it 17 453

Let her have her fun

By WHY GRANDMA - 17/06/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 155

By no tea parties here, gran - 11/04/2013 17:16 - United States

Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 714

You deserved it 6 186

Grandma rocks!

By Anonymous - 20/04/2014 21:38 - Slovenia - Domzale

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 480

You deserved it 5 191

By Anonymous - 01/08/2015 03:39 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 498

You deserved it 1 920

By booste - 18/10/2009 04:06 - Canada

Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 754

You deserved it 2 266

SHUSH

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 12:00

Today, I went to see a movie with my mum. She kept asking me questions throughout the entire film, and not necessarily about the movie. I lost my cool when she asked me a bit too loudly for comfort if I regretted being dumped my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 107

By lady_jeni - 09/07/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 512

You deserved it 3 232

By bribreeeeeezyfreshhh - 06/12/2010 17:03 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 936

You deserved it 27 186

itsalanis 25

Tuesday 8 January 2013 22:38

I love your grandma.

holagranola 15

Tuesday 8 January 2013 22:40

Just be glad she didn't strip down and refuse to put her clothes back on.

Comments

MikeyScene420 17

Wednesday 9 January 2013 5:20

The hell kind of movie did you take your grandma to see??

Cupcake040 17

Wednesday 9 January 2013 5:47

Unlike the person singing during the movie and getting a drink poured on them, I'd love to hear you grandma in a theatre.

xSalashawty 30

Wednesday 9 January 2013 8:31

Better than her being pissed about one swear. ^^;

TheDeafWalrus 8

Wednesday 9 January 2013 15:20

Grandma don't give a shit!

JDCH_99 10

Wednesday 9 January 2013 16:00

Back in the 80s, my grandmother, who was in her 80s and did not speak English well, went to see a movie about Porky Pig. Too bad it was Porkies.

davek 36

Wednesday 9 January 2013 18:35

Your gran sounds like a laugh. What's she like after a couple of beers?

Vidimus 13

Thursday 10 January 2013 4:31

Your gramma is one top-tier troll, OP.

doglover100 28

Thursday 10 January 2013 23:54

Haha

SweetLuna 10

Friday 11 January 2013 5:10

Haha that's so awesome! Best grandma ever!

kathbutter 12

Friday 11 January 2013 21:28

was that film bridesmaids? I took my grandma to that too

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Awkward Cars Family Babysitter Relatable Kids Thief Money Health Depression Mental health Wanker Work Bodyshaming Love Vacation Annoying Students Parenting Intimacy First Dates AITA Singing Animals Cats Weddings Public freakouts Cops

The Top

Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip, I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. I couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 160

You deserved it 1 138

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 044

You deserved it 4 454

The Top

Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 76

Today, my friend invited me to play frisbee golf with him. On my first throw, my frisbee got stuck on a branch near the top of a very tall tree. This is why I don't do sports. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 85

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 771

You deserved it 6 521

Today, I learned that the surprise party thrown for my girlfriend's 19th birthday was wonderful and she couldn't be happier. Except that I didn't show up. Apparently 40 people were invited but I wasn't one of them. We've been going out for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 472

You deserved it 4 052

Today, I found out what sound a hammer makes when it strikes the back of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 313

You deserved it 6 004

Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 920

You deserved it 5 897