By Dick the Greater - 25/10/2013 22:08

Spicy
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks 60 342
You deserved it 10 351

Same thing different taste

Top comments

oj101 33

Drunken words are sober thoughts.

Good things come in tiny packages, she doesn't know what she's missing.

Comments

I'm sure she will be just as embarrassed as you in the morning.

Damian95 16

Sounds to me like she is the kind of person that throws private matters out in the open. Watching her intake from now on is definitely a good idea.

You fault. There are a MILLION and one books out there about how to please a woman. Try reading one.

But if his GF is isn't telling him that he's not good enough, how the hell do you propose he finds out?

Maybe he didn't realize she wasn't enjoying it. I think if she doesn't think he's good at it, she should be the one to take the initiative and tell him what he could do to make it better for her. It should be something he learns from her, not from a book.

If he is THAT dumb, that he CAN NOT realize that she isn't enjoying it. Then he might want to come out of the closet and find a boyfriend.

She might've been faking enjoying it. A lot of girls do that.

well if she is faking enjoying it it is her fault. I find communication is best in a relationship. she should have told him what she likes.

A million and one books, and any of them that are worth reading will say that she needs to let him know what she enjoys.

@Vinnie: Or you could just rely on a combination of trial & error and communication instead of depending on a book.

If his girlfriend does not inform him he is bad at oral, and she pretends to be pleasures by it, how would he know to improve his skills?

After your first dumb post you then you straight to "he must be gay", I don't know but I would be more inclined to think that you are suppressing inner desires about men than him.

I guess ur mom did have dejavu when ur girlfriend started to complain...!

graceinsheepwear 33

Why would the mom have deja vu about a conversation about OP's size and skill in bed? Kinda weird.

that's bcoz mom may had the similar experiences with OP's dad...and hence the small penis and skills were a genetic trait from his dad...!got it...??

Skills can not be inherited. They are learned. And penis size isn't completely dependent on the father.

graceinsheepwear 33

Perhaps you should learn how she likes to get oral and perfect that technique.

cryssycakesx3 22

"since you humiliated me in front of my mom and the rest of my family I guess I'll practice making you ******." **** that and **** her.

Why penis size are always being concerned ??? btw i have a big one

The fact that you have to assure everyone could mean otherwise..

PandaBurst 10

Learn to flick the bean with your tongue. Not that hard dude. The best of us can.

an3ph 20

Drunks and children do not lie. I have some email offers you'll want to look at.

an3ph 20

And you expected what exactly?