Health: Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself...

By what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - 05/04/2013 18:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 688

You deserved it 4 833

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Same thing different taste

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 085

You deserved it 3 652

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 253

You deserved it 4 962

How? Why?

By Noname - 12/03/2009 19:56 - United States

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 038

You deserved it 31 362

By bonnmo - 11/11/2018 11:30 - United States

Today, I took a big, smelly, satisfying dump when I woke up. When I tried to flush, nothing happened. None of my four roommates bothered to tell me we didn’t have running water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 987

You deserved it 290

Humpty Dumpy

By traumatized - 12/04/2014 18:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 436

You deserved it 9 394

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 396

You deserved it 48 835

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 03:03 - United States

Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 922

You deserved it 3 564

Freakout

By Anonymous - 20/03/2015 16:56 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 391

You deserved it 3 644

By Oh dear - 05/07/2012 22:15 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 612

You deserved it 2 724

Always carry around a pencil with you

By Anonymous - 22/03/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while at work, I took one of the biggest dumps I've taken in my life. The turd was so big, I took a pencil and chopped it into small pieces because I was afraid it would clog up the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 234

izzybd 20

Saturday 6 April 2013 2:29

You should probably go to a doctor

raesos91 26

Saturday 6 April 2013 2:30

aww, what did you name it?

Comments

eberle805 7

Saturday 6 April 2013 4:18

You're gonna die! Gotta get that checked

fdupagain 11

Saturday 6 April 2013 4:22

You watch too much TV. One dose of a med should do it.

Llamacod 11

Saturday 6 April 2013 4:56

Of couse op is going to die, everyone does

TecheyTim 14

Saturday 6 April 2013 4:24

Sounds like you just shit out a tapeworm.

WhatsYOURname6 25

Saturday 6 April 2013 4:25

Well.. Atleast it's out now!!

ariana_mia 6

Saturday 6 April 2013 4:26

LMAO. Atleast its out of you, /: Go to a doctor!. Like now. Why are you still reading this? Go! Go! Go! Lol.

ihearuscreamin 13

Saturday 6 April 2013 4:27

Tapeworms are gross! Go see medical help ASAP

simoncat 11

Saturday 6 April 2013 4:29

There is a huge possibility you just MAY have worms. No shit. (Pun intended) Check with your doctor. Not easily cured, but easier the sooner you're checked out.

AshesNicole623 17

Saturday 6 April 2013 4:32

Pinworms. Very real, very gross. Look it up. My siblings have gotten them from eating dirt (little kids). Oh, another thing... they're contagious.

munchy22 5

Saturday 6 April 2013 16:32

I thought pinworms couldn't get pooped out. As far as I know they crawl out of the butt when a person is sleeping maybe because there's no movement. Two ways to look for pinworms, someone's gotta look in there with a flashlight, or use use scotch tape to tape the perianal folds where they'll stick to it.