Love: Today, I told my husband that I was going to get a swimsuit from...

By heather - 20/06/2011 22:25 - Canada

Today, I told my husband that I was going to get a swimsuit from the Victoria's Secret catalog. He replied, "Are you going to get the body to go with it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 694

You deserved it 10 424

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Same thing different taste

By littelace - 19/02/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in Victoria's Secret. I saw a picture of a model and said, "I wish I looked like that." He replied with, "Me too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 964

You deserved it 24 480

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 00:21 - Canada - Corner Brook

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 580

You deserved it 3 418

No warning

By Anonymous - 05/05/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 744

You deserved it 496

By Anonymous - 10/09/2014 03:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 605

You deserved it 14 089

By Anonymous - 08/05/2016 08:42

Today, my daughter asked me to take her to Victoria's Secret so I could buy her some "sexy clothes". She's 9. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 787

You deserved it 2 668

Be careful what you wish for…

By Sady_Ct - 15/05/2019 12:12

Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 545

By Anonymous - 17/08/2018 03:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking up sexy clothes for me to wear while role-playing. I saw something I liked and asked him if we should get it. When he saw the model wearing it in the picture, he asked "Does it come with the girl?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 371

You deserved it 745

By Tonya - 28/06/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 222

You deserved it 7 759

Busted

By YoMamma68 - 31/03/2022 04:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me a screenshot of a bathing suit on a store’s website and asked for my opinion. I told her it wouldn’t look good. She then texted me a screenshot of me liking a picture of a friend on Facebook, wearing that same bathing suit, saying, “But on her it looks fine, right?” Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 3 421

By Anonymous - 18/05/2012 19:19 - United States - Paterson

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 434

You deserved it 3 543

theonlysweetpea 10

Tuesday 21 June 2011 8:52

Tell him that once he starts lookin like a pro athlete, you'll get that figure but until then go change a lightbulb!

ZombieeeeUnicorn 1

Tuesday 21 June 2011 8:51

what a douche.

Comments

CarnivalCat 1

Tuesday 21 June 2011 21:40

You should have replied, "Only if you're going to pay for it!"

ReptarRAWR23 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 21:48

sounds like a great guy haha!

Quall1357 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 21:50

DUMP HIS ASS

lowshadows 21

Tuesday 21 June 2011 22:04

That's a sign for weight loss right there ha ha ha!

MommaJig 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 22:13

hillarious

sematariux 7

Tuesday 21 June 2011 22:19

your husband is a champ

me6456 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 22:20

ooohh burn

kitkat98_fml 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 23:20

maybe he meant the model that they show it on, but still your husband is a douche

Crazy4Christ 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 23:41

ruuuuuuuude!

Alex213 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 0:03

he was thinking out loud...

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Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 140

You deserved it 12 374

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 098

You deserved it 20 811

The Top

Today, at a fancy dress party, I got off with Hitler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 635

You deserved it 40 417

Today, I learned never to try a jump-scare prank on my boyfriend. Apparently, his instinct when suddenly scared isn’t to jump or scream like a baby, it’s to throw a blind punch. Luckily, he missed but he broke my glasses by knocking them off my nose and now he won’t stop apologising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 1 769

Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 438

You deserved it 36 347

Today, I learned that the average human farts 15 times a day. I fart more than that within the first hour of the day, and that’s even after not eating anything for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 147

Today, and ever since my girlfriend insisted we needed a dog, our lives have been taken over by the little bastard. She can’t leave without him chewing everything from separation anxiety. He bites me if I so much as walk near him. Neither of us want him anymore but she feels too guilty to rehome him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 258

Today, my boss pulled me aside to chastise me for being "off task" because I was chatting with a co-worker while working on a project. She then spent a half hour chatting with the same person about what daycare she should go to for her new baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 870

You deserved it 2 233

Same thing different taste

No warning

Be careful what you wish for…

Busted

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