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Usually I don't agree with people who jump straight to "leave him/her" in relationship FML's but in this case I must agree... Please, OP, please tell me you aren't still with that douchewaffle?

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I can't win, it seems. When I was arrested for humping them, I tried to show that I was willing to change for the better. Sadly, it appears that they have little appreciation for modern dance as even my twerking was deemed indecent. I had a foam finger and everything. :'(

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ok ok #91, #8, and #100 I get your points now. maybe I should've said. "your New ex-bf "ill think of more original comments to bring to fml next time

Pretend u are shocked, but don't pretend to be his gf at first. Then scream at him while throwing all his crap at him. Don't get too mad at the girl. She probably doesn't know about you and is just as shocked

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