By .__. - 07/12/2014 08:10 - United Kingdom - Wembley

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML
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Top comments

ComoEsJuan 24

Dude. So much kink. It's almost unbearable.

283 10

Comments

cmchappy 25

I thought op would have stopped after finding the whip

109 0
Enslaved 36

The whip was there to serve as a warning to let the OP know what will happen if she continues to snoop! The ball gag was there to let mom know what will happen if she tells you your gift early. As far as JKF... Who doesn't love a bit of history?

62 0
cakefete2 30

The newspaper about the assassination served as a warning for those who failed to heed the first two warnings.

72 0
Arwen_Evenstar 37

Yep, there's just no way this isn't the OP's fault. I've never understood wanting to ruin the surprise anyway.

26 2
LikeYouGiveAShit 27

I think it was interrogation role play. Suspect for the assassination and a sadistic interrogator.

21 2
RA91 26

Lmao!!! I Love the explanation #34!!

3 7
laaryssa 21

How do you explain away the sex toys?

0 1
SeriousJoker72 18

Hahahahaha! Omg I laughed harder at your comment than I did at the FML

16 7
Vegetarian27 24

Evidently they weren't, as they were the only things OP found. But I get the feeling that you're suggesting that those were the presents, which is just wrong.

0 17
xmaan667 15

Brain bleach would be perfect for this situation

20 61
MrConcise 34

I'll need some if I keep having to read comments about brain bleach. It's like the FML community can't ride a horse without maiming it with sticks after.

64 2
expertsmilee 26

Reminds me of that scene from gone with the wind where she keeps whipping the horse to go faster or move at all until it just keels over dead.

29 6
Kalipczo 21

well... I mean... you kinda set yourself up for it by snooping. I snooped once when I was around 7 and found condoms and a massive *****, never again. .

148 3
Enslaved 36

As a kid, I secretly used to carefully unwrap and rewrap all my gifts that were kept under the tree before Christmas. Wow was I disappointed! I mainly got shitty gifts. Never felt like I needed to wake up early on that morning.

37 4
DoubleDosexo 12

when I was like 4, I found my parents stash of condoms sorta, and I asked them what they were. they said they were for cleaning computer screens. I tried it like a week later, that was disappointing. BTW, the condoms were like right by the door so any and every one knew they were there.

9 0
CandyPewPewPew 29

When I was 7, I thought condoms were flavoured bubble gums.

9 0
urbantrashcan 18

On the first day of Christmas my family gave to me, one sexy whip, two ball gags, three sex toys, political clippings, and a dose of emotional scarring!

216 7
maireadmoran 10

Is nobody else curious about the JFK clippings?

123 6
christian1509 21

I've sat here for like the past 30 minutes trying to figure out what that was about

51 5
TahoeFMler 22

If they were alive when it happened, it could just be historically memorable. Like people that say "where were you when you heard Lennon was killed" or "where where you when the towers were hit?"

40 1
Madissoni 14

Well, when the towers were hit I was ******** myself... 5 months old...

13 2
ThePols 11

His dad likes to be called Mr. President. I guarantee it.

22 2
Astrum14 24

I figured that they put all that stuff on purpose, just in case OP and any siblings OP might have decided to snoop around looking for gifts.

12 2
DARKDAY07 16

Those Kinky sons of bitches must've killed JFK

105 4