Love: Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started... - FML

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 411

You deserved it 10 250

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 15/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 556

You deserved it 7 666

Good bye!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 20:00

Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and instead of talking to him I burped, and he just walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 767

You deserved it 734

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 833

You deserved it 5 153

By killmenow - 03/12/2015 05:33 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 253

You deserved it 2 646

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 489

You deserved it 6 820

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 834

You deserved it 5 272

By Anonymous - 19/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was seeing my boyfriend for the first time in 3 weeks. I was so excited to see him that I gave him a big hug. He must have been excited to see me too, because he hugged me so tight that he squeezed a fart out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 978

You deserved it 260

By longlostkid556 - 05/06/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 220

You deserved it 5 803

By sydneybourgeois - 13/08/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 509

You deserved it 16 142

By ECullen - 21/05/2009 19:13 - United States

Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 723

You deserved it 24 971

Next

Top comments

upsidedownn 8

Monday 17 December 2012 9:23

You blew him away. :)

puppster391 16

Monday 17 December 2012 9:23

Well that... stinks ;D

Comments

fenixtorador1 11

Monday 17 December 2012 9:30

Well that's attractive..?

YoungMisfit 9

Monday 17 December 2012 9:34

I smell love in the air

AidenSurvival 7

Monday 17 December 2012 9:34

It'll blow away.

broken_red_wagon 6

Tuesday 25 December 2012 17:35

Ha! :D

fsomelife 26

Monday 17 December 2012 9:36

Taken from the diary of Pearl the Octopus.

simoncat 11

Tuesday 18 December 2012 3:05

Ah you made me ink

Tempest559 12

Monday 17 December 2012 9:52

I like a girl who can fart in front of me. Don't worry.

buckdharma 36

Monday 17 December 2012 11:03

I would prefer if she farted behind my back.

buckdharma 36

Monday 17 December 2012 9:52

Where's that fat guy when you need him?

OldMemoriesFade 8

Monday 17 December 2012 9:55

And everybody blames the fat guy!

DoubleBlumpkin 4

Monday 17 December 2012 9:56

Fear fart? You have been blessed with a natural self defense mechanism..congrats.

pdp_fml 21

Monday 17 December 2012 10:10

Did he speak to you? If not then there wouldn't nothing to worry about. Were you able to strike up a conversation?

buckdharma 36

Monday 17 December 2012 10:13

Yes, butt only in body language...

bhujwala 2

Monday 17 December 2012 10:26

You should have told him that he brings the fartatious side out of you

Dnigz13 4

Monday 17 December 2012 10:39

My younger sister farts uncontrollably when she's nervous.... And I mean uncontrollably, she doesn't stop, but it's extremely funny unless your in the car with her and she gets scared

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The Top

Today, my cat has always been rather antisocial, but after his first trip to the vet since getting fixed, he's become talkative, clingy, and goofy. I'd enjoy it, if not for the fact that he's nearly hurt himself several times because he keeps doing stupid shit. He might need to go back to the vet at this rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 130

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 561

You deserved it 2 469

The Top

Today, I woke up with a hangover. I had a party last night. Besides a stolen TV, someone seemingly decided to take a dump in my piano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 527

You deserved it 30 191

Today, a very large lady was sitting down and panting as she watched me stock the bottom shelves at my store. Apparently, being able to squat down and stand back up repeatedly means I'm mocking her, and she threatened to report me to corporate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 298

You deserved it 285

Today, I took some new allergy medicine I had never tried before, and I didn't bother reading the side effects. I then went to school. It was almost an hour before dismissal when I had felt a warm feeling on my legs. One of the side effects to my new medicine was bladder control problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 034

You deserved it 27 680

Today, I realized I need a new job when I had to take anti-anxiety medication before meeting with my boss. Last time we met, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 134

You deserved it 3 309

Today, my mother-in-law constantly threatens to commit suicide, unless my husband pays her bills. He told me I don’t care about his happiness because I told him he can’t keep giving in to her guilt trips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 375

You deserved it 107

Today, I finally handed my girlfriend a portrait of her. I'm not the best drawer, but I spent weeks on it and I thought it turned out pretty good. When she looked at it, she asked what kind of dog was it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 841

You deserved it 5 531