Love: Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started...

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 413

You deserved it 10 250

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 15/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 558

You deserved it 7 667

Good bye!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 20:00

Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and instead of talking to him I burped, and he just walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 734

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 834

You deserved it 5 153

By killmenow - 03/12/2015 05:33 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 255

You deserved it 2 646

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 489

You deserved it 6 820

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 834

You deserved it 5 272

By Anonymous - 19/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was seeing my boyfriend for the first time in 3 weeks. I was so excited to see him that I gave him a big hug. He must have been excited to see me too, because he hugged me so tight that he squeezed a fart out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 978

You deserved it 260

By longlostkid556 - 05/06/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 220

You deserved it 5 803

By sydneybourgeois - 13/08/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 510

You deserved it 16 142

By ECullen - 21/05/2009 19:13 - United States

Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 723

You deserved it 24 971

upsidedownn 8

Monday 17 December 2012 9:23

You blew him away. :)

puppster391 16

Monday 17 December 2012 9:23

Well that... stinks ;D

Comments

Bunny_Fcked_up 2

Monday 17 December 2012 15:32

"What's that smell?" My love for you....

interesting33 36

Monday 17 December 2012 16:18

Hahhahahaha

skyeyez9 24

Monday 17 December 2012 16:28

Was it a barely audible one or a horrendously loud fart? That makes all the difference.

watsonpsykosis 10

Monday 17 December 2012 18:52

That made my day! It's like a dog who pees when he gets excited.

camirish9 6

Monday 17 December 2012 19:08

It was glitching allowing me to vote twenty times in i agree and then said error but they didnt go away

cgstarz790 3

Monday 17 December 2012 19:20

Bahahahaha maybe it was a loud not so smelly fart? Then you'd still have a chance

penguindude82 2

Monday 17 December 2012 19:42

Called playing hard to get

Sir_Swaggington 6

Monday 17 December 2012 20:29

How embarrassing, I hope he didn't notice lol

icepick23 12

Monday 17 December 2012 21:30

Nonsense--women do not fart

LupusDie 9

Monday 17 December 2012 22:26

Could've been worse, you could've crapped your pants.

WhatYouMean 4

Tuesday 18 December 2012 0:48

Hahaha, Perfect timing I see xD

Keywords

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Today, I woke up to my significant other talking in his sleep and soulfully professing his love for Stephanie. My name is not Stephanie. The only Stephanie he knows is a girl he worked at a hotel with over 10 years ago. He has done this at least twice a week since then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 96

Today, the guy I’ve been trying to get over for the last month finally messaged me like I’ve been hoping for, only to cry that his new girlfriend cheated on him and to ask if I think he should forgive her, because he, "appreciates my honesty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 215

The Top

Today, I found my 6-year-old daughter recording herself on her little tape recorder. When I asked her what she was up to, she replied in her cute little voice, "I'm recording myself so you'll have a souvenir when I'm dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 431

You deserved it 1 622

Today, I realized my wedding ring had fallen off while doing yard work the previous day. Luckily, I only worked in a few areas, so I had high hopes of finding it. That is until a storm came through, blew half a foot of leaves all over the property, and then froze them with sleet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 527

You deserved it 5 222

Today, I was written up and given a penalty for being 3 minutes late to class. By my instructor. Who was 17 minutes late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 91

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate in the bed for the first time. Halfway through the session, she slowly leaned over to my ear, thinking she was going to say something dirty. Instead, she decided to let out a long burp because she thought it was "cute". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 227

Today, my husband's high school friends got together tonight. Nothing more pathetic than listening to a bunch of losers reliving their glory days as high school seniors. I honestly thought I would have picked someone better than this. My husband fucking peaked at 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 2 484

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 415

You deserved it 38 883

Same thing different taste

Good bye!

My body hates me

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