Kids: Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what...

By Alex - 26/03/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 194

You deserved it 76 832

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/08/2013 04:48 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 019

You deserved it 3 779

By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 334

By I don't know, son - 16/11/2013 01:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 839

You deserved it 4 777

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 546

You deserved it 4 689

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 06:28 - United States - Calhan

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 561

You deserved it 3 443

By Username - 29/07/2011 23:36 - United States

Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 326

You deserved it 7 347

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 01:13 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 193

You deserved it 18 840

Little shit

By moneyman22 - 01/03/2010 19:09 - United States

Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 469

You deserved it 3 963

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 429

You deserved it 28 099

Little twit

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 03:38 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 734

You deserved it 7 130

theauthor 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 12:05

LOL i had a similar experience when my 3 1/2 yr old cousin told me sadly that "tomas the tank engine is shit"

Cogeno 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 12:51

I remember my 9 year old nephew recently got suspended for telling the teacher to 'Go suck her husband' after she was giving him shit.

Comments

Tirade_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 13:23

Haha your brother is a G

babydoll86_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 14:06

Hahah, awesome. I once told my mum about the other 'little *******' at pre-school, she still laughs about it and I'm in my twenties.

effliffe 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 14:08

your little brother is awesome!

Mortal_Light 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 14:09

My 2 year old cousin drops f-bombs every time he goes down the steps

weicn 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 14:22

haha. Funny as shit. By the way wat does YDI stand for? you dumb idiot?

rebekahmarie 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 1:12

It means you deserve it, but close.

alex_vik 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 14:59

#16 - While that's what it means, it usually also means what #15 said too.

PTERONOPHOBIA 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 15:17

I teach my younger siblings (a ten year old and two seven year olds) to say shit like that all the time, on purpose, because that is my job as the eldest by 9 years. Once when my brother's teacher asked why he wasn't doing his work, he replied "I'm gangster as shit."

pinto502 0

Wednesday 13 October 2010 1:07

^^you are a genius! lmfao I love this :D

HAHAURLIFESUX 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 14:59

Awesome. Yeah my brother and two sisters learned this lesson with me. They're 8 and 13 years older respectively and I blurted out a ton of inappropriate comments between 3 and 6. I got my behind whipped a few times for it but they took the brunt of it.