Health: Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in...

By Anonymous - 27/09/2014 23:55 - United States - Flemington

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 642

You deserved it 6 554

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By clitorasaurus - 21/08/2010 06:09 - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 610

You deserved it 32 974

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 304

You deserved it 21 653

By j4y - 29/01/2009 00:30 - Canada

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 088

You deserved it 6 639

Fake it til you make it

By foreveralone15 - 24/06/2021 10:59

Today, I sprained an arm muscle while pretending to lift weights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 789

By brooke - 13/08/2012 04:45 - United States

Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 448

You deserved it 25 215

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 917

You deserved it 7 348

Twang

By Anonymous - 29/08/2009 14:15 - United Kingdom

Today, I stretched really hard when I woke up, only to feel something twang. This was followed by a really sharp pain. Thinking I'd given myself a hernia, I got up to check myself in the mirror, and was repulsed by the bulge I saw hanging out of my gut. Then I realised it was just my own flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 077

You deserved it 40 514

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 482

You deserved it 7 414

Fighting fit

By AnonThoughts - 24/10/2019 06:00

Today, my body is so messed up that I pulled a muscle in my side while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 322

Unexpected

By Matt988 - 22/03/2021 23:00 - India

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 277

Steve95401 49

Sunday 28 September 2014 13:08

That must have been an atomic wedgie.

ActionFearo 39

Sunday 28 September 2014 13:12

Butt scratchaaa, get your butt scratcha!

Comments

captainsmegma 12

Monday 29 September 2014 4:59

Do you also throw your back out while pumping Polly til he's jolly?

HarleyQuinn9532 7

Monday 29 September 2014 19:19

Lmfao

seldom66 16

Sunday 5 October 2014 10:06

You're lying. You have no muscles in your hands.

Keywords

Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Awkward Friends Miscellaneous Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Mother in law Gifts Birthday Family Money Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

Today, I discovered my girlfriend stealing from my bank account. She thought she was smart by disguising her transfers as 'GAS BILL' or 'NETFLIX BILL'. Um, Netflix doesn’t cost £100 a month, and BILL is spelt with two Ls, not three. Reported for fraud; got my money back; single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 62

Today, I'm 25 and still a virgin. At this point I'm not sure to feel embarrassed or proud. Imagine being 25 and not know what the fuck you are doing in the bedroom. I don't know who it would be more awkward for, me or them. Maybe I'll just avoid human interaction all together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 141

The Top

Today, I work at a gas station. There's a bald manlet, who we fired because he couldn't do his job, who has been ripping us off by giving away tickets he wins from the slot machines. We banned him from the store. I caught him on the corner, wearing our uniform, with a sign falsely advertising that our coffee is free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 113

Today, it's the fourth day in a row that I've been kept awake by my grandmother's snoring. I want to be pissed off, but she has sleep apnea, and I feel guilty for even wanting her to shut the hell up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 595

You deserved it 1 278

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 639

You deserved it 40 983

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 675

You deserved it 76 558

Today, while using the restroom, a little girl crawled under my stall door. She stared at me, then yelled, "Someone's in here!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 444

You deserved it 551

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 916

You deserved it 4 004