Love: Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the...

By Anonymous - 06/07/2013 16:13 - Lithuania - Vilnius

Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 301

You deserved it 5 189

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Same thing different taste

By SadPuppy - 22/05/2013 07:14 - United States

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 816

You deserved it 3 546

Me me me

By perfectmoment - 30/11/2009 00:47 - Canada

Today, I called my boyfriend to have a shoulder to cry on because my grandpa died. As soon as I told him, he started crying and telling me how much he missed his grandmother, who died six years ago. I spent the majority of the phone call listening to him wail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 570

You deserved it 5 997

Compassion

By Anonymous - 30/01/2016 06:47 - United States - Upper Marlboro

Today, while crying at my grandma's funeral, I was told to "man up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 831

You deserved it 1 808

Aaand blocked.

By wtf fml - 20/03/2018 17:30 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I was mourning the recent loss of a close family member. My ex's idea of comforting me was to ask if he could come over so I could “give him some bomb ass head” to take my mind off things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 423

You deserved it 508

By Anonymous - 13/10/2013 16:20 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after holing myself up in my room for the day, I eventually turned my phone back on and told my girlfriend that my grandma passed away today. She replied, "Ask me if I fucking care," then accused me of not caring about our relationship because I went offline all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 811

You deserved it 4 903

By Me - 03/06/2013 05:32 - United States - Homer Glen

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 477

You deserved it 3 907

By good job bf - 11/01/2013 04:06 - United States - Southampton

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 210

You deserved it 2 888

Sorry…

By Anonymous - 02/10/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, my English teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet, I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 758

You deserved it 73 417

Sorry?

By ExFutureGrandsonInLaw - 10/06/2018 19:00

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend's grandparents at church. After 5 minutes of catching up, my ex's frail grandmother asked me when I'm planning on "joining the family". I had to explain to them that their granddaughter had dumped me exactly 2 years before. She cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 493

You deserved it 279

By Anonymous - 29/05/2012 17:50 - Netherlands - Lelystad

Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 080

You deserved it 4 785

Kozmotis 8

Sunday 7 July 2013 1:15

At least you had the brains to dump her. You deserve better than that horrible woman. Sorry for the loss of your grandmother. :(

SasaCeceGogo 18

Sunday 7 July 2013 1:15

You should say Hand. Door. Out. I'm really sorry OP, she is insensitive. You deserve better. You dodged a grenade!

Comments

elizabethia 5

Wednesday 10 July 2013 3:49

Sounds like you dumped her and, for that, I commend you, sir.

BlissfulLiss 18

Saturday 13 July 2013 4:35

She should take her own advice.

johnkocache 2

Thursday 18 July 2013 19:34

I think she wants you to shoot her.

forever_tinaa 4

Tuesday 23 July 2013 10:19

thats just cruel and horrible !

amisenho 11

Tuesday 23 July 2013 17:51

Sounds like an episode of "The Office". But in all seriousness, my condolences for your loss.

Nikkel09 1

Thursday 7 November 2013 4:23

At least you got rid of her before she gave you any more "advice"

sdroze1389 31

Wednesday 8 January 2014 1:17

it worked for cobain.... but jokes aside, that is screwed up.

LyricaSilvan 29

Friday 5 February 2016 10:46

That joke is in really poor taste, man...

shufflyn 16

Wednesday 25 June 2014 16:19

shotgun. her mouth. blam.

LyricaSilvan 29

Friday 5 February 2016 10:45

Wow, what an awful thing to say...I can see why she's your ex.

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The Top

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 028

You deserved it 5 459

Today, after being tired of my husband acting like I’m invisible, giving more attention and affection to the dog than to me, and me going to spend a few nights at my sister’s house, he texted me, "You coming home to make dinner or what?" on the second day. It's now day 4 and he hasn’t said anything else since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 108

You deserved it 293

The Top

Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 161

You deserved it 5 108

Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 565

You deserved it 49 715

Today, I took my dog for a walk. It became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman runs up to me and whacks me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 238

You deserved it 2 809

Today, my cat used his expensive new bed for the first time since he got it last month. He used it as a litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 991

You deserved it 1 280

Today, I finally got my stimulus check and was big excited to be able to cash it and buy Valentine's Day gifts. The very second turn out of our driveway, dude and I got T-boned. Our only vehicle, with only two payments remaining, appears totalled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 144

Today, I saw boobs, in person, for the first time. Too bad they were my mom's and I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 013

You deserved it 8 367