Miscellaneous: Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished...

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 19:02 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 558

You deserved it 2 621

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/02/2010 08:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 784

You deserved it 7 812

Good to know

By DeadScared - 19/09/2011 00:23 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 007

You deserved it 3 562

Cocobananas

By why... - 05/06/2012 17:21 - United States - East Orange

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 029

You deserved it 3 536

By zombieguyswife - 28/06/2012 23:44 - United States - Branson

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 080

You deserved it 3 979

By Anonymous - 24/08/2012 21:10 - United Kingdom - Walsall

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 223

You deserved it 3 874

By gibbette - 28/04/2013 17:32 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 581

You deserved it 7 313

Priorities

By Anonymous - 14/08/2020 05:02

Today, my fiancé and I finally had the house to ourselves for the night for the first time in MONTHS, and we don't know when we will get a chance like this again. So, he texts his buddy to play zombies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 497

You deserved it 246

By purged - 08/06/2013 23:43 - United States - Mechanicsville

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 058

You deserved it 8 645

By katybaby - 09/12/2010 17:15 - United States

Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 344

You deserved it 11 686

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 02:05 - United States

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 920

You deserved it 3 245

abattior 18

Saturday 22 August 2015 8:23

Does that mean the only thing stopping him from killing you is law? i really think you should divorce his ass!

pixigem 15

Saturday 22 August 2015 8:26

If you have a husband that thinks so negatively of you, you guys should talk. It won't get better by ignoring it, be honest and open about your feelings, don't lie it'll only get worse!

Comments

lonelyfuck 7

Saturday 22 August 2015 14:29

o_O I suggest you run. Fast

writerchic85 25

Saturday 22 August 2015 15:13

Sounds like it's just guy talk "oh my wife is a pain in the ass!" Wouldn't be too offended by it.

fantasyworld 37

Saturday 22 August 2015 15:24

Why do some men hate being married? No one forced you into it.

bellarrr 5

Saturday 22 August 2015 15:29

******* divorce his ass

momof3honeybee 13

Saturday 22 August 2015 16:12

And the husband of the year award goes to.............

CourtneyPaigee16 13

Saturday 22 August 2015 16:12

Don't be with someone who thinks it's okay to make comments like that, whether it's a sick joke to him or not!! It's probably just bad humor to him, and if he's not joking.... FYL :(