Work: Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the...

By dulllife - 08/12/2011 07:30 - United States

Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the restaurant I work at. That was the highlight of my day. Apparently my life has gotten so boring I get excited over colored toothpicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 529

You deserved it 4 610

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 11:55 - United States - Louisville

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 599

You deserved it 2 891

By insanitycalling - 26/10/2011 06:36 - Canada

Today, at my job as a produce clerk at a grocery store, I had an entire conversation with my coworker about how nice the new cabbage boxes are. This is all it takes to thrill me these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 442

You deserved it 3 476

Pizza mystery

By Pick out the picks - 24/09/2022 15:30 - United States

Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 120

Can't you see?

By imaqtb - 09/09/2010 03:35 - Canada

Today, I was working at a restaurant. This guy comes up to the counter and asks if he could have some toothpicks. I told him they were right in front of him. He said, "Sorry, I'm blind." Thinking it was a joke, I laughed until he said, "No, seriously." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 632

You deserved it 37 605

By stupidtoothpick2 - 16/08/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 256

You deserved it 8 480

By S. - 26/08/2012 16:20 - Estonia

Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 288

You deserved it 12 744

By Anonymous - 24/01/2013 01:44 - United States - Waldorf

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 659

You deserved it 6 172

By sirengamer - 14/06/2017 20:00 - United States

Today, I was at my job where we buy precious metals. A man came in and said, "Here, I have something special for you." He then pulled a tooth out of his mouth that had dental gold on it and placed in it my bare hand. Yeah, special indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 975

You deserved it 307

By embarassed - 14/01/2011 10:11 - United States

Today, I got off work and checked my makeup in the mirror once I got in my car. I had a huge piece of spinach on my front tooth that no one told me about. I work the front desk of an upscale hotel and have been greeting guests all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 921

You deserved it 5 358

By Simon Cowell - 08/09/2018 20:30

Today, I realised my teeth are so stained that they look cleaner when I've not brushed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 250

You deserved it 866

Buttsexpirate 9

Thursday 8 December 2011 12:02

Dude you're gonna lose your shit when the new tablecloths come in.

sariannacanna 6

Thursday 8 December 2011 11:54

Those toothpicks are pretty cool.... Lol

Comments

jaredofmo 22

Thursday 8 December 2011 15:02

Hey, it's cool to appreciate the little things. Still, if you feel your life is boring, I'd recommend attempting a social life.

IndigoAcrylic 9

Friday 9 December 2011 7:41

Small things are nice ^^ But it's the "big things" that excite us if yaa catch my drift (; MMMHMMMM yeaaaaa ^_^

jaredofmo 22

Friday 9 December 2011 14:51

I catch it!

xrudeboyrock 29

Thursday 8 December 2011 15:42

we got mini-swords for toothpicks once, and it was legit the highlight of ALL the servers' days.

DammitDammit 2

Thursday 8 December 2011 15:52

I wish I could be so bored. Remember the old Jewish curse - "May you live in interesting times."

geon_olam 17

Thursday 8 December 2011 18:51

chinese curse dumbass 寧為太平犬，不做亂世人

IndigoAcrylic 9

Thursday 8 December 2011 21:22

Bitch please...I'm jewish and ya...The jews kinda stole that from the chinese xD

brick_man33 14

Thursday 8 December 2011 16:07

how fancy op, the restaurant I ate lunch at yesterday didn't have toothpicks.

2dog 15

Thursday 8 December 2011 17:02

Wow, you must have a really boring life

iKendall 3

Thursday 8 December 2011 17:05

PoisonGirlInc 0

Thursday 8 December 2011 18:15

Man colored toothpicks are the shizzle

uy_fml 4

Thursday 8 December 2011 19:20

That honestly does sound exciting.

superman2234 2

Thursday 8 December 2011 20:09

That's sucks

LovesickLeopard 0

Thursday 8 December 2011 20:11

I know how you feel, OP.

Keywords

Relatable Mental health Health Growing old Periods Embarrassing Work Awkward Job interview Education Stalker Instagram Love Social Media Ironic Phobias Animals Spiders Transportation Bikes Ecology Kids Weird Parents Confused Drunk AITA Poopoo peepee Geek Facebook

The Top

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 212

You deserved it 3 633

Today, one of my co-workers, who I secretly hate, announced she and her husband were expecting. She's rather big. Without thinking, I said, "How did he manage to find your vag under those fat rolls?" I got placed on suspension and now have to attend a training on sexual harassment in the workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 3 662

The Top

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 567

You deserved it 10 070

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 950

You deserved it 2 638

Today, my two co-workers got the promotion we were all working for. The reason they got the promotion and not me? My interview got cancelled because of a policy change, implemented that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 729

You deserved it 151

Today, I got fired from my job as a babysitter because the movie I showed the kids was "too violent and gave them nightmares." What movie was it? Mary Poppins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 90

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to make a R.I.P. page for me on Facebook. Most liked post? "Too bad this page is fake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 895

You deserved it 5 451

Today, I was cleaning the litter box and found a large clump. I later found my 3-year-old peeing there instead of in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 748

You deserved it 604

Same thing different taste

Pizza mystery

Can't you see?

Top comments

Comments