Intimacy: Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We...

By jsw029 - 26/02/2009 04:51 - United States

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 055

You deserved it 20 900

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 412

You deserved it 38 882

By whereismyprince? - 18/12/2013 17:01 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 605

You deserved it 7 443

No. Just… No.

By none - 22/08/2013 04:27 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 367

You deserved it 8 817

By ThankYou! - 22/12/2015 05:50 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to meet a guy that i had already started to be involved with at a bar. We laughed, kissed and had a great time, until he admitted he was just doing all of this to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. Guess who was waiting for me outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 819

You deserved it 1 974

By so_screwed - 25/09/2013 06:59 - United States - Salinas

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 497

You deserved it 13 884

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 008

You deserved it 12 784

Booze confused

By piliseep - 07/06/2017 16:00

Today, I realized that I accidentally said my phone number wrong when I was giving it to a really smart, cute guy with all the same interests as me that I met at a bar last night. I'd had a few drinks and had gotten the middle three digits mixed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 083

You deserved it 1 660

By ultraattitude - 22/04/2012 07:01 - United States - Union City

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 001

You deserved it 12 617

By izoliv - 22/11/2008 08:17 - France

Today, after a tremendously hot night with a guy I met the night before, I ask him his phone number. To which he replied: "What for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 731

You deserved it 10 834

By Anonanon - 12/07/2011 17:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after he gave me the 'let's just be friends' speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 833

You deserved it 13 805

Vincere_fml 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 12:17

That guy's pathetic... unbelievable

gabby1995pena 4

Saturday 12 November 2011 23:04

She probably got pregnant.

Comments

uminuscooll 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 18:24

lol more like **** his life.... that's pathetic.

SamuraiDeli 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 18:44

Agree with #28.

alwaysalady 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 18:52

Longevity.... he lacks it.

me_me_fml 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 19:06

I bet he does that all the time.

Petrov1989 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 19:25

That guy is my hero... I can't get past 15 seconds

sonofskam 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 19:25

Look, a busy man doesn't have time for trivial things like "respecting his partner". Dude's got a meeting to go to.

Bibico_fml 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 19:28

Agree with #35. I assume you'll be at another bar tonight or tomorrow and the same thing will happen. Of course, the way you found out he "already came" was that you didn't have him use a condom, there was **** dripping out of you, and because you don't practice safe sex and are kind of slutty you probably have an STD. Yeah, FYL. No wonder there's a ton of STDs being spread.

mizzblondey1313 7

Monday 1 August 2011 3:22

I agree completely

Dr_Phil 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 19:45

"Then she pulled out my mushroom tip ... and when it came out it went drip, drip drip."

Meeeooowww 9

Tuesday 16 July 2013 3:14

Looks like we have a poet here

kittykat1501 31

Friday 17 July 2015 20:16

Haha 42's name is 30 second man

watupyo 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 19:49

Okay she could have been on the pill, sure doesn't protect against STDs, but at least she could have been doing something sexually responsible. And guaranteed if something like this happened to a dude, everyone would be saying "man what a bitch" instead of "he's a man-*****." That being said, that guy is hilarious. I'm torn whether his nerve is pathetic or awesome. I'm going with awesome.