Intimacy: Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that...

By diesel444 - 23/08/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 827

You deserved it 23 186

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Same thing different taste

By fml - 22/06/2009 09:03 - United States

Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 432

You deserved it 5 473

By nottoosmall - 03/04/2013 16:57 - United States

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 765

You deserved it 15 609

By my honest father - 10/07/2013 16:33 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 056

You deserved it 3 747

By accident - 14/02/2014 22:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 048

You deserved it 5 821

Tiny Tim

By hmmmm - 13/08/2012 12:19 - Australia

Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 314

You deserved it 5 475

By rxcrs3 - 09/08/2012 06:44 - United States

Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 017

You deserved it 2 476

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 434

You deserved it 3 813

By xXxJoe16xXx - 01/12/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 042

You deserved it 8 420

Running commentary

By well crap... - 21/06/2020 14:18

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 131

You deserved it 216

Not a cheating!

By Notcheating - 03/12/2019 18:00

Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 239

You deserved it 485

FrEsHpRiNcE916 0

Monday 23 August 2010 12:12

like father like son!

buzzerbeeeeee 0

Monday 23 August 2010 12:25

if you're old enough to have sex you should buy your own condoms. ydi.

Comments

Swedude 5

Saturday 19 February 2011 1:57

How close? 

Evza 5

Thursday 7 April 2011 3:33

haha wow

singergirl112 3

Saturday 7 May 2011 23:40

is you name James Alberto by any chance? lmao

jmarlaz12 0

Tuesday 10 May 2011 19:46

how would he know how big ur .... was ?

dedanjel 33

Sunday 20 January 2019 18:11

Probably either guessing based off his own, knowing that genes play a part in size, or just ribbing the kid

irritatedone 5

Monday 25 July 2011 10:06

why didn't you just buy them yourself? or you can get them free at the health clinic.

Harpy20 24

Friday 26 August 2011 9:37

c'mon, he's changed those diapers. he knows what you're packing or in this case, not packing.

Naruto11232 0

Friday 9 September 2011 5:45

so which one, lol jk

thesexyazn 1

Thursday 10 November 2011 8:02

like father like son

lolmybutt 0

Friday 6 April 2012 17:45

Haha! Well I guess it depends on what size u r! Ya never know parents are sometimes pretty good with guessing sizes of stuff

Purplefluff 6

Tuesday 18 September 2012 20:16

Honestly, I think you and your dad are a bit too close :-S

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I agree, your life sucks 14 796

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I agree, your life sucks 38 013

You deserved it 2 249

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I agree, your life sucks 35 472

You deserved it 3 845

Same thing different taste

Tiny Tim

Running commentary

Not a cheating!

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