Animals: Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave....

By aherdofpigs - 02/09/2013 19:22 - United States

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 079

You deserved it 21 069

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Same thing different taste

By RaccoonFever - 10/01/2014 11:15 - United States - La Jolla

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 318

You deserved it 5 774

By unloved cat owner - 16/02/2014 00:50 - United States - Carmichael

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I tried to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 653

You deserved it 9 467

By Anonymous - 22/10/2009 02:58 - United States

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 806

You deserved it 6 958

The creepy guy next door

By Anonymous - 05/06/2013 22:09 - United Kingdom - Worcester Park

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 096

You deserved it 4 479

Feral kitty

By Polar Bear 2020 - 24/04/2024 17:30 - India

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 75

Crowded house

By upset - 25/10/2016 00:08

Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 255

You deserved it 909

My precious baby

By Anonymous - 08/11/2013 23:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 671

You deserved it 8 728

By nosleeptilpissoff - 18/03/2011 15:54 - United States

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 407

You deserved it 6 381

By catslave - 17/09/2016 08:43 - New Zealand

Today, my cat wanted to go out. She watched me open the front door, leave it open while I got something from the car then come back inside. She then insisted on going out the back door. I'm a slave to a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 063

You deserved it 1 879

By Dom - 26/05/2012 21:35 - South Africa - Kwa-zulu

Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 165

You deserved it 3 294

confusedAsFuck 34

Tuesday 3 September 2013 0:09

Pussy blocked

Pleonasm 35

Tuesday 3 September 2013 0:09

Laser Pen that bastard into a bin and voilà.

Comments

missd420 16

Tuesday 3 September 2013 5:00

Before you are ready to leave, lock him in the bathroom with food, water and a litter box.

jl_word 10

Tuesday 3 September 2013 5:08

Whipped by your pussy

Wiz_Of_Oz 17

Tuesday 3 September 2013 5:19

And thus began the tyrannical rule of the Iron Kitty.

KaylaTackett 18

Tuesday 3 September 2013 5:28

It's a cat! Pick it up and put it in another room.

monnanon 13

Tuesday 3 September 2013 7:53

so speaks someone who never owned a cat. anyone who picks up a pissed off cat does not value their skin.

karikat826 2

Tuesday 3 September 2013 5:49

Congratulations, you have successfully found the proper Master Cat to Slave Human relationship that most cat owners strive to achieve. Don't forget to bow to thy feline overlord and fetch him a can of tuna.