Kids: Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after...

By derped-out sperm - 01/04/2014 21:41 - Ireland

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 094

You deserved it 5 928

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Same thing different taste

Fire hasard

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 18:23 - United States - Ridge

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 626

You deserved it 3 062

Move!

By patrickRafael - 29/12/2009 14:21 - Singapore

Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 388

You deserved it 3 006

By Marjorie - 13/07/2012 17:08 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 223

You deserved it 3 435

My little boy

By Anonymous - 16/04/2021 00:30

Today, my 12 year-old son came home with two broken arms after finding an awesome place to ride his bike. He found a sweet jump and his handlebars broke. He's currently in slings and waiting for an appointment with a surgeon, the breaks were so bad, the hospital couldn't reset them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 97

By myfamilyisodd - 15/10/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 469

You deserved it 5 232

By Chandler - 16/09/2011 19:26 - United States

Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 841

You deserved it 2 936

Thanks Steve-O

By Anonymous - 30/07/2014 08:21 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 513

You deserved it 5 124

By Anonymous - 09/04/2012 22:32 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 613

You deserved it 2 997

Suspicious minds

By Hugh - 03/04/2021 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to a hospital social worker that my young son is not abused, he is just rowdy and that he knocked himself unconscious and shattered 4 teeth in a bizarre stunt involving a tree, my ironing board, a mop bucket and lots of duct tape. I'm not sure the hospital believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 16/03/2016 20:58 - United States - Durham

Today, I fell down a hill out of my hammock, which broke my phone screen and my sunglasses. My idiot brother launched me out of it, so he could "assert his dominance." He's 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 917

You deserved it 1 797

harrypotter955 19

Wednesday 2 April 2014 2:27

But first, let me take a selfie...

RoyalBeast16 7

Wednesday 2 April 2014 2:27

I bet he was in "extreme pain" afterwards.

Comments

Ham9900 17

Tuesday 8 April 2014 2:24

This is why aliens won't talk with us!

D3NZ 4

Tuesday 8 April 2014 7:14

Why is every one on this app old and has kids?

Potato_Muffin 7

Tuesday 8 April 2014 16:37

First, let me take a selfie! #fallingoutofatree!

juwannaman 11

Tuesday 15 April 2014 5:27

Ohh my god that's hilarious

ZeldaPaulThingy 17

Monday 15 December 2014 0:27

Your name is Derped-Out Sperm... Yeah, I'm sure you're a parent.

fmlstarterkit 13

Tuesday 6 October 2015 19:50

"extreme selfie" would be the selfie of his broken arm.

mylsux 15

Thursday 3 March 2016 17:35

Was the selfie good though?

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 984

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I agree, your life sucks 46 092

You deserved it 7 476

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I agree, your life sucks 53 443

You deserved it 12 593

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I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 164

Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 820

You deserved it 1 399

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 442

You deserved it 70 346