Work: Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service"...

By niiiiiiiiiikki - 08/01/2011 20:35 - United States

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 511

You deserved it 2 493

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Same thing different taste

By Erik Aleckson - 05/05/2019 02:00

Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 861

You deserved it 134

By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 18:32 - Norway

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 437

You deserved it 3 353

By xricardo - 05/06/2010 00:52 - United States

Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 993

You deserved it 26 365

By Anonymous - 17/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 966

You deserved it 4 042

By Dr.Octopus454 - 07/10/2011 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 141

You deserved it 3 620

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 16:20 - Canada - Sherbrooke

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 273

You deserved it 3 917

By Job Seeking - 22/01/2013 11:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 132

You deserved it 3 004

By Men '86 - 24/07/2011 06:41 - Canada

Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 011

You deserved it 39 319

By babyeaternomnom - 30/06/2012 16:22 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 882

You deserved it 2 324

He needs them more than you

By cjj325 - 20/03/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 021

You deserved it 32 519

DocBastard 38

Sunday 9 January 2011 1:50

I see you don't have a "No pants, no service" policy. Fascinating.

alwa7sh 2

Sunday 9 January 2011 2:15

it's probably stevo filming jackass 4

Comments

supertacowaffle 41

Sunday 9 January 2011 11:20

wanna trade jobs?;)

heyred 11

Sunday 9 January 2011 12:33

There are well-fitting Speedos?

smilingbkob 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 12:53

another party i wasn't invited to fml

Sbosiris 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 17:51

Ahhh. Russians? Lol my grandpa would so some shit like this lol

dantheman31297 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 19:20

how is this an fml?

raiderh808 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 22:03

So you don't have shoes, pants or service?

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Monday 10 January 2011 4:40

Was this the same man who went outside to get the mail in nothing but his tighty whities?

gtrgdss 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 12:29

it didn't say he couldn't wear that- just said he had to have shirt and shoes too. although speedos should be outlawed, I agree.

KateKiddo 6

Wednesday 12 January 2011 22:18

How does that suck? Its hilarious! xD

EmmyRahh 5

Tuesday 5 April 2011 18:46

Tony Abbott?

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I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 252

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 27 121

You deserved it 10 675

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I agree, your life sucks 23 340

You deserved it 7 357

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I agree, your life sucks 33 005

You deserved it 3 209

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I agree, your life sucks 64 746

You deserved it 3 113

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 635

You deserved it 2 601

Today, I was brutally dumped over webcam, by my boyfriend, who was taking a dump with the laptop on his lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 938

You deserved it 2 882

Same thing different taste

He needs them more than you

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