Love: Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy....

By Lauren - 20/08/2012 03:53 - United States - New Market

Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 676

You deserved it 4 172

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Revenge is sweet

By Anonymous - 12/10/2013 22:03 - Iceland - Akranes

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 257

You deserved it 27 796

By shithappens - 31/03/2019 14:00

Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 242

You deserved it 675

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 552

You deserved it 5 930

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 503

You deserved it 2 944

By crawfo - 31/08/2009 13:54 - Australia

Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 323

You deserved it 12 065

Nerves, dear?

By First date - 30/03/2021 02:00

Today, on my first date with a guy I really like, I threw up not once, not twice, but three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 129

Trading places

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Bremerton

Today, my date ditched me and showed up with another guy at the same restaurant. She even tried to take the reservation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 562

You deserved it 2 843

By TheHeirofTime - 15/08/2016 15:11 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 252

You deserved it 1 731

Maybe he's into that...

By pissypants - 25/11/2017 19:00

Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my dates popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 3 502

Brilliant

By BrokeAsFuck - 18/10/2012 23:52 - United States

Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 619

You deserved it 2 037

giantsfan2010 23

Monday 20 August 2012 9:01

Don't tell her?

myth454 2

Monday 20 August 2012 9:02

You haven't caught on yet? Just don't eat the food.

Comments

thaleelee 6

Monday 20 August 2012 10:21

My dad does stuff like that to me all the time :/ it does help not to tell them tho and just say your going to the mall or something. Some parents suck...well most do.

Horstradamus 6

Tuesday 21 August 2012 12:10

No, you have an abusive father. Get help.

Iniezian 18

Monday 20 August 2012 10:22

Well, you know what she's doing, so why don't you take at least some precautions? Like, I don't know, make sure not to eat the day of a date (in addition to saving yourself from the laxatives, it'll make the food at whatever restaurant you go to taste even better).

kalbrek009 20

Monday 20 August 2012 10:22

Op doesn't state how old she is, just that she thinks the guy was awesome...maybe op has bad taste in men, maybe the mom is a controlling psycho, maybe the mom is trying to keep her daughter from dating psychos....there's just not enough info to vote one way or the other so I'll just give her a point for each (FML for being laxatized & YDI for letting her mom know ahead of time so as to get laxatized....I know that's not a real word, but it works to make the point)

ntiger8705 2

Monday 20 August 2012 10:29

How about using common sense n not eating her food when ur goin on the date. hmmmmmm....

lulunessly 3

Monday 20 August 2012 10:35

It's your fourth time? You should've noticed this by now. Sorry hun, better luck next time:)

twilightdogstar 1

Monday 20 August 2012 10:36

So maybe don't tell her? It's not that difficult.

eggmarie 25

Monday 20 August 2012 14:33

Some people don't like lying to their parents?

GK2012 9

Tuesday 21 August 2012 5:24

not telling someone doesn't necessarily mean lying. If you tell someone you're going shopping when you're going to a mall for a few minutes, looking around and then doing something else, you're not lying because you *did* shop.