Miscellaneous: Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and... - FML

By bellaskyeb - 08/01/2012 17:42 - United States

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 263

You deserved it 4 243

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 21:14 - United States

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 486

You deserved it 3 383

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 343

You deserved it 14 486

By BUSTED. - 01/12/2015 19:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 555

You deserved it 3 706

**** fox hunts

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 17:01

Today, my husband was arrested because a fox, fleeing from about a billion dogs and rich twats on horses, jumped through our car window, and cowered between my legs. He got out of the car, waded through the dogs, and pulled one of the twats off his horse into a puddle, ruining his red coat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 746

You deserved it 254

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 653

You deserved it 2 457

He's a good man

By no booze, no boyfriend - 04/06/2013 20:31 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 129

You deserved it 4 660

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 18:00

Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 214

By mackenzie_cain - 14/01/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 436

You deserved it 65 630

By Ava_Darkflame - 01/01/2017 15:54 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 486

You deserved it 166

Walk on the wild side

By Anonymous - 11/11/2020 07:01 - United States - Tyler

Today, I had to go get my fiancé's car so it wouldn't get impounded after he was arrested at 12 a.m. and charged with a felony. I just got out of prison in March, and we get married next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 3 244

Next

Top comments

IntoTheClouds 42

Monday 9 January 2012 2:19

That's a funny story, actually.

MrHankie1999 0

Monday 9 January 2012 2:19

They are confused because it didn't have a siren.

Comments

gjdavies1988 0

Monday 9 January 2012 9:58

Good effort :)

Omnomnymous 10

Monday 9 January 2012 10:24

Hahaha sounds like something I would do :D

lrgenesis 19

Monday 9 January 2012 10:49

I assumed this was from Canada for some reason…

xx000o 27

Monday 9 January 2012 11:00

Seems like a major waste of money to me. I would have let him sleep his drunk ass off.

Lauren324 18

Monday 9 January 2012 11:03

Don't go messing with them. My friend was also drunk (at a street festival) and his head got pinned to the wall with the horses ass all because he asked to pet it.

Marom 3

Monday 9 January 2012 11:20

funny as hell!

bizarre_ftw 21

Monday 9 January 2012 11:36

EYour marriage Con - his stupidity rivals the 3 stooges Pro - his total failure works as an ego boost for you Hey, it's a give and take

bizarre_ftw 21

Monday 9 January 2012 11:38

*your The iPad rivals the husband in stupidity when concerning the fml app 10X over

kyka 1

Monday 9 January 2012 12:05

That is funny. I would have just left him in there!! Lol

dartzli 3

Monday 9 January 2012 12:53

Your husband's a BOSS! :D

midoridoll 3

Monday 9 January 2012 13:48

What happened to the friend.. From what I've read you didn't bail him out and he would be there still, correct? -bad poker face-

5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12

Keywords

Management Work Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Health Mother in law Gifts Birthday Family Money Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Cats Skincare Job interview Jealousy Coworkers

The Top

Today, I was supposed to be working from home. Instead, I ended up taking the kids out to the park for the morning, because my wife “couldn’t even” today. When we got home, she had demolished two bottles of wine, and was masturbating to a home improvement show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 982

You deserved it 312

Today, while fighting unemployment and an visible abscess on my neck, I was cajoled into attending my Mom's birthday party. I spent the entire time at the restaurant trying to hide an oozing sore with a bandage, eating partially edible food. The cost? $40 I can't afford to spend on food not worth $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 94

The Top

Today, I got into my dream university. I also got turned down for the scholarship and the loan that would enable me to actually go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 707

You deserved it 1 165

Today, while walking through my living room, I slipped and nearly fell, narrowly avoiding hitting my head against a nearby door jamb. What did I slip on, you ask? A single cat treat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 158

Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 416

You deserved it 9 002

Today, after weeks of searching, I finally found the wedding dress of my dreams. Too bad it was in the form of a download for The Sims. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 150

You deserved it 3 676

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 464

You deserved it 8 022

Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 694

You deserved it 37 803