Miscellaneous: Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and... - FML

By bellaskyeb - 08/01/2012 17:42 - United States

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 263

You deserved it 4 243

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 21:14 - United States

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 486

You deserved it 3 383

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 343

You deserved it 14 486

By BUSTED. - 01/12/2015 19:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 555

You deserved it 3 706

**** fox hunts

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 17:01

Today, my husband was arrested because a fox, fleeing from about a billion dogs and rich twats on horses, jumped through our car window, and cowered between my legs. He got out of the car, waded through the dogs, and pulled one of the twats off his horse into a puddle, ruining his red coat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 746

You deserved it 254

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 653

You deserved it 2 457

He's a good man

By no booze, no boyfriend - 04/06/2013 20:31 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 129

You deserved it 4 660

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 18:00

Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 214

By mackenzie_cain - 14/01/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 436

You deserved it 65 630

By Ava_Darkflame - 01/01/2017 15:54 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 486

You deserved it 166

Walk on the wild side

By Anonymous - 11/11/2020 07:01 - United States - Tyler

Today, I had to go get my fiancé's car so it wouldn't get impounded after he was arrested at 12 a.m. and charged with a felony. I just got out of prison in March, and we get married next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 3 244

Next

Top comments

IntoTheClouds 42

Monday 9 January 2012 2:19

That's a funny story, actually.

MrHankie1999 0

Monday 9 January 2012 2:19

They are confused because it didn't have a siren.

Comments

macdaddymady 8

Monday 9 January 2012 2:40

Does he have a friend name Alan who carries a purse by any chance?

brianfantana32 10

Monday 9 January 2012 7:26

Its a satchel!!!

Mkbitch 2

Monday 9 January 2012 2:41

YDI for marrying a child. Discipline him!

Savra_fml 17

Monday 9 January 2012 2:43

They were just horsing around OP. How does the old saying go? "You can lead a drunk to a horse, but..." No, that's not it. Something like "I get 1 phone call, right?" FYL.

Liliajeanne4 0

Monday 9 January 2012 2:45

That's awesome! It's just too bad you weren't included in the fun!

Dan1015 5

Monday 9 January 2012 2:46

Lol hahah that is hilarious. They had a college moment again hahah

heyred 11

Monday 9 January 2012 2:49

My grandfather stole a fire engine while on liberty in WW II. It is a funny story if you pull your head out of you arse.

littlecityof 3

Monday 9 January 2012 2:50

That's certainly and FYL, mostly for marrying the idiot

sceptic 1

Monday 9 January 2012 2:56

I would leave mine there for being THAT stupid!

spongebob1990 3

Monday 9 January 2012 3:06

Wow your gona tell me youve never done nothing stupid while drunk

CryMoreFMLs 14

Monday 9 January 2012 4:12

I haven't. I just went to bed. Never drinking that much champange on New Years ever again.

littlecityof 3

Monday 9 January 2012 19:11

We all do stupid things once in a while, but stealing a horse, no matter who it belongs to, is just another level of stupid

spongebob1990 3

Tuesday 10 January 2012 3:16

Boooo ur lame

iceymouse17 4

Monday 9 January 2012 2:58

Hes a keeper!

Roehl2011 4

Monday 9 January 2012 3:00

someone knows how to party!

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Keywords

Management Work Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Money Birthday Family Mother in law Gifts Parents Public freakouts Education Exams Students Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Cats Skincare Job interview Jealousy Coworkers

The Top

Today, after 5 years of dating and not even so much as a hint of a ring on the horizon, I asked my boyfriend why he hasn’t proposed yet. His response was “Babe, I’m not gonna pay for the cow when I get the milk for free.” What does that even mean? FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 476

Today, I was scrolling through a more risqué/dark/dirty humor Facebook page. I thoughtlessly set my phone down to help my cousin with a translation for about a minute. When I went to grab my phone, I saw, front and center, a photo edit of Chewbacca with his "lipstick" out. No wonder she kept glancing down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 416

The Top

Today, I was running the drive-thru window at work, when a man pulled up with his dog in the seat next to him. As he was counting out his change, the dog leaned over his hand and drooled all over it. Not only did he pay exclusively in coins, those coins were slimy from dog drool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 958

You deserved it 2 887

Today, I went down to my congresscritter's office to deliver some paperwork. Somehow, I'd forgotten the pocketknife I kept on me for hiking, from four years ago, back when I could walk consistently. The security guards were kind enough not to laugh at me, at least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 192

Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 118

You deserved it 2 474

Today, for the first time in years, I heard a certain song on the radio. The song that was playing while I was sexually assaulted. It caused me to have such a bad PTSD episode that I threw up all over my boyfriend and his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 447

You deserved it 180

Today, I found out my ex-husband left the fridge full of rotting meat in the house that I'm selling. I turned off the power to the house in March. Now the whole house stinks, and I had to have the fridge professionally removed and the kitchen cleaned because buyers are coming to look at it tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 604

You deserved it 428

Today, my long distance friend-with-benefits informed me she's now in a relationship with an amazing guy. I should be happier for her, as even I admit he is perfect for her. Too bad I just spent over a thousand dollars on plane tickets to visit her. The tickets are completely nonrefundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 911