Love: Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with...

By johncabbot25 - 23/12/2011 10:53 - Canada

Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with for two years. Right as I kissed her, some guys drove by in a car and threw some soggy spaghetti at me, yelling, "Noob!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 993

You deserved it 3 495

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Same thing different taste

Interruption

By Freddie06 - 18/10/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a first date, and it was going surprisingly well. As we were saying goodbye, I leaned in for a kiss. Just as our lips were about to meet, a car full of teenagers drove by and one of them yelled, "TONGUE SANDWICH." My date burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 127

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 659

You deserved it 9 503

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 904

You deserved it 6 672

By First Kiss - 07/12/2012 12:39 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 081

You deserved it 3 519

By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 880

You deserved it 7 257

Nice try

By spitballer1 - 06/07/2009 16:54 - United States

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 208

You deserved it 29 086

By ColdHeat - 16/04/2011 19:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 294

You deserved it 4 634

By drpepperking10 - 02/07/2016 23:27 - United States

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 346

You deserved it 3 262

By FirstKiss - 13/07/2009 15:00 - Canada

Today, I had my first kiss at a party. Later, I was told that the guy had been dared to kiss the ugliest girl in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 729

You deserved it 6 671

By Someguy - 06/06/2011 18:55 - Belgium

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 865

You deserved it 57 034

SinfulTragedy 19

Friday 23 December 2011 16:07

At least you unlocked an achievement!

flockz 19

Friday 23 December 2011 17:47

44- you misspelled *captain* twice, in two different ways, in the same comment... *facedictionary*

Comments

yuri63f6 7

Saturday 24 December 2011 3:54

Jealousy is a bitch...

PeeNaught 3

Saturday 24 December 2011 4:37

Eh, just let it roll off your shoulders and Congrats on your kiss dude :) Hope all works with you and your (hopefully now) girlfriend :))

Track1991 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 7:54

Wooow! What immature dicks. Sorry that happened to know. Goodluck fixing that one.

xxSTITCHESxx 4

Saturday 24 December 2011 9:54

i hope she didnt get mad or something.. i would of lmao :D

sjhill 32

Saturday 24 December 2011 11:58

Don't let it get to you. Hopefully she took it as a joke too. Put it another way, at least it was spaghetti and not oranges

chicano1 4

Saturday 24 December 2011 14:00

EVERY GET DOWN ITS A DRIVEBY !!!!!

NaticaJai 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 16:00

My cousin says noob to me all the time, man that sucks, better luck next time? (:

Link5794 18

Saturday 24 December 2011 19:26

NullPointer 20

Saturday 24 December 2011 19:40

That sucks. I would have burst into treats if that happened to me.

akito11 5

Saturday 24 December 2011 20:24

Honestly dude, embrace it, that "noob" just got wit his crush of two years so you honestly did something right, lol

Keywords

Management Work Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Money Birthday Family Mother in law Gifts Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Cats Skincare Job interview Jealousy Coworkers

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Today, I came home from work to see a pair of panties I hadn't worn lying on the floor. I picked them up and they were all crunchy. It turns out that while I'm away, my boyfriend uses my underwear as a vessel for his semen. He claims this is normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 396

You deserved it 362

Today, while fighting unemployment and an visible abscess on my neck, I was cajoled into attending my Mom's birthday party. I spent the entire time at the restaurant trying to hide an oozing sore with a bandage, eating partially edible food. The cost? $40 I can't afford to spend on food not worth $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 94

The Top

Today, I worked for three hours writing very neat notes with one of those pens that erase. I felt very accomplished, so decided to share it on Facebook. I brought my computer over to my lap on top of my notes. Turns out heat from laptops smudges ink from eraseable pens. I can't read my notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 639

You deserved it 30 369

Today, my neighbor kindly set off a bed bug fogger rather than getting an exterminator, which we'd even offered to help him pay for. We have baseboard heating in our condo building. Guess where the parasites crawled to now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 980

You deserved it 844

Today, I went shopping on my only day off. The only aisle open was self-checkout. I'm a cashier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 978

You deserved it 1 773

Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 404

You deserved it 4 674

Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 186

You deserved it 4 682

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 228

You deserved it 2 996

Same thing different taste

Interruption

Nice try

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