Intimacy: Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently,... - FML

By OhGeez - 08/06/2009 19:41 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 016

You deserved it 22 725

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By auto boogie man - 19/11/2015 16:44 - United States - New York

Today, at school, I was asked to play a complex piano piece in front of my class, teachers and guests. I nailed it, but what stood out most for everyone was how I apparently looked like I was being possessed while performing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 008

You deserved it 2 144

By skyhawk13 - 30/10/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 126

You deserved it 53 890

Mesmerized

By Embarrassing - 26/06/2021 13:59 - Canada

Today, I was hypnotized and talked into telling everyone truths about myself at a show my family and I went to. I don't know what I said. All I know is that my family laughs whenever I'm near them. They won't tell me what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 195

By musicmaniac13 - 18/03/2011 19:08 - France

Today, I performed in my school's choir concert. The girl next to me started to pass out, and I grabbed her so she wouldn't hit her head. After we were done performing and the curtains closed, my choir teacher dragged me off stage and said I was getting an F for "creating a distraction". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 694

You deserved it 3 357

By Anonymous - 04/04/2014 17:26 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 087

You deserved it 20 341

By lifesucks - 24/02/2009 19:21 - United States

Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 959

You deserved it 50 259

By Anonymous - 21/03/2009 03:10 - United States

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 779

You deserved it 10 405

Dozing off

By Math_Rocker - 02/09/2009 22:17 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter, followed by embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 324

You deserved it 35 133

This is the future Big Tech wants

By Anonymous - 28/08/2023 22:00

Today, I was playing a virtual reality game at a gaming convention. I got so into it that I didn't realize I was screaming and flailing around in. A crowd had gathered to watch my dumbass embarrass myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 686

By xsnqw - 19/01/2016 22:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 576

You deserved it 6 950

Next

Top comments

4bbaf9d3caaa8f84 20

Tuesday 9 June 2009 1:59

wow, that sucks. At least you didn't call out someone's name like your mom's, dog's, sister's etc...

FrootLoops_ 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 2:00

that must have been awkward afterwards :)

Comments

FrootLoops_ 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 2:35

i agree with # 55 lmao

Button_x 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 2:38

Agree with #55 XD But how do we know the OP is a guy?

angel03260 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 2:38

ha i moded this one. its only a fail if no one made the awkward turtle=p

minimagi 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 2:38

wow youre really stupid, hypnosis only works if you allow it too. hypnosis is for the weak of mind, and you are obviously really stupid. what i really want to know is how you learned how to use a computer.

that_was_so_awkw 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 2:38

BAHAHAHAHAHA, OMFG. I laughed so much at this. DAMN HILARIOUS! Someone likes flat dry *cough cough* sex. :)

Paigeth 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 2:39

#49, you'd be surprised.

Twin_Uzis 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 2:43

Fake because hypnotism isn't real.

jak11 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 2:44

LMAO ROFL

Talia070 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 2:47

At least you didn't start jacking off .

FrootLoops_ 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 2:47

hypnotisim is real, but only if the person lets themselves be hypnotized. other times, you have the big fakers that are pretty clear

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Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Fight Family Kids Love Relatable Students Work Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Relationship advice Cheating Pregnancy Teenagers Friends Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Revenge Food Cats

The Top

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 337

You deserved it 15 970

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 623

You deserved it 34 712

The Top

Today, I received a message from front desk that my concerned father is trying to contact me. I call only to hear that my parents were freaking out that I wasn't answering my phone. They saw me 9 hours ago. They were going to call the police. I'm in college and also don't live with them anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 161

You deserved it 2 478

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 268

You deserved it 9 649

Today, I realized that my coach doesn't close the door and the blinds to perform half-naked body checks (to make sure his team is in shape) on anyone else but me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 692

You deserved it 4 826

Today, I got put in Facebook jail for telling a guy fat shaming a girl he was a "s*x*st b*st*rd." Immediately after, FB informed me that a person I reported for threats didn't violate community standards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 332

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind, "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 203

You deserved it 5 194

Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look like someone had hit on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 199

You deserved it 42 931