Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. Apparently, she...

By massage mama - 04/08/2019 07:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. Apparently, she told her teacher about the “special massages” mommy gives her. I’m a licensed massage therapist, and I massage my daughter with lavender to help her sleep. Now everyone thinks I’m a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 046

You deserved it 174

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Same thing different taste

Just a prank, again

By momaaa1342 - 21/10/2013 03:51 - United States - Elmwood

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 714

You deserved it 3 601

Threesome

By Tylerdirdin84 - 28/07/2019 20:00

Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 097

You deserved it 154

Words is hard

By kate - 26/10/2021 02:00

Today, my seven year-old daughter called me a weirdo. When I yelled and grounded her, she cried and said she thought “weirdo” was a compliment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 1 609

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 420

You deserved it 39 983

By cantdolife - 23/09/2018 21:00 - United States - New Boston

Today, as a teacher, I had a conference with the mother of a student who is struggling with behavior. Turns out the mom is the woman who does my Brazilian waxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 360

You deserved it 303

By omg - 25/03/2011 00:43 - Canada

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 606

You deserved it 8 703

Keeping up

By Anonymous - 09/05/2019 22:00

Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 402

You deserved it 151

By Stripperofthemall - 25/08/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 213

You deserved it 2 914

By noname - 03/01/2009 03:26 - France

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 539

You deserved it 2 585

By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 321

You deserved it 9 427

Seeya55 31

Sunday 4 August 2019 17:59

I'm sorry...that really sucks. Can't say they're not thorough with child protection though! Walk in with a deadpanned face and say "I literally just rub lavender oil on my kids back to help her sleep. I'm a massage therapist." Done! And make sure to talk to her teacher, not just office!

Slyfried 63

Sunday 4 August 2019 19:41

♫ But I'm a creep I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doin' here? I don't belong here ♫♪

Comments

Seeya55 31

Sunday 4 August 2019 17:59

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 4 August 2019 18:29

News flash: You are a weirdo!

MidnaLink 33

Monday 5 August 2019 15:31

News flash: you’re not always funny.

Slyfried 63

Sunday 4 August 2019 19:41

♫ But I'm a creep I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doin' here? I don't belong here ♫♪

Sora_McKain 36

Friday 8 November 2019 13:55

I love that song so much.

Mathalamus 24

Monday 5 August 2019 10:32

You kinda are a weirdo. Itjust seems creepy, no matter how innocent it actually is.

PenguinPal3017 19

Tuesday 6 August 2019 5:47

It's creepy to give your kid a massage to help them sleep? No.

saberjpg 6

Monday 5 August 2019 21:47

Why do call them "Special Massages"? It's just a massage. She should have told people that her mom gives her a massage to help her sleep. It's the "Special" part that makes it sound creepy.