Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while...

By ww2freak - 14/06/2012 01:17 - United States - Centreville

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 945

You deserved it 27 342

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Same thing different taste

By tishihish - 12/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 928

You deserved it 2 820

By Santa - 12/12/2011 21:45 - Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 049

You deserved it 4 406

By Anonymous - 11/12/2010 04:59 - Canada

Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 388

You deserved it 2 726

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 046

You deserved it 3 547

By frozenpoo - 21/01/2015 02:05 - United States

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 654

You deserved it 5 018

By BathroomMuch - 25/12/2009 16:15 - United States

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 866

You deserved it 7 728

By Anonymous - 06/12/2010 22:16 - United Kingdom

Today, my little brother found the singing Santa Claus from last year, and it still works. I'm now going to be hearing nothing but "We WISH you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!" for the next 20 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 666

You deserved it 4 528

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 278

You deserved it 5 627

Bathroom menace

By Shelly - 07/06/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 238

You deserved it 3 432

By bathroomgirl - 11/08/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 071

You deserved it 37 173

Yellow_Fish79 11

Thursday 14 June 2012 12:18

Tell him he is on the naughty list! Peeking under stalls... >:

allblacksfan 7

Thursday 14 June 2012 12:19

I would do the exact same thing. Who would want to miss out on meeting Santa?

Comments

riptor911 10

Thursday 14 June 2012 16:09

You know its june right? Why are u whistling christmas songs?

alana_mccafferz 4

Thursday 14 June 2012 16:42

Ahahahahah! That kid is a legend. What a cutie.

donkey79 0

Thursday 14 June 2012 16:49

Is that your version of fishing?

noisebox 1

Thursday 14 June 2012 17:00

They are enough to even hear at Christmas time you need to re-load your brain tunes...

Octain 13

Thursday 14 June 2012 17:57

Do did you kick him? ;o

day624 14

Thursday 14 June 2012 18:09

Only santa whistles christmas carols in june

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Thursday 14 June 2012 18:16

This should be that kid's FML not yours. Imagine his disappointment.

xqtmvzwr 1

Thursday 14 June 2012 18:20

That's a straight shooter right there, amirite.net ?

mscat 0

Thursday 14 June 2012 18:38

That sounds perverted!

gwg924 2

Thursday 14 June 2012 18:48

Why on earth would you be singing Christmas carols in FREAKING JUNE?!?!?!?!?!?

Keywords

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Today, my girlfriend won't stay over at my apartment anymore. Why? Because she saw a few roaches. Pest control comes every week and I spray every other day, so there's only so much I can about it. The worst part is now it's extremely difficult to spend time together because she lives with her mom and sister, who argue nonstop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 252

Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 563

The Top

Today, while going down on my boyfriend, I must have gotten a little too enthusiastic because I ripped my tongue's frenulum. We then awkwardly went into the bathroom. While he was washing the blood off his penis, I was hung over the toilet bowl puking because blood makes me woozy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 456

You deserved it 4 967

Today, it seems my body wants me to be a hermit: alone in nature for days, I'm fine. Yet to any kind of stress – like being at the office or in a social setting – my body reacts with smelly sweats, extreme bloating, and frequent flatulence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 123

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 030

You deserved it 2 835

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 471

You deserved it 55 331

Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 888

You deserved it 2 328

Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 283

You deserved it 24 800

Same thing different taste

Bathroom menace

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