Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't...

By Anonymous - 05/09/2013 19:11 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 384

You deserved it 5 706

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Same thing different taste

By MakeMeASandwich - 10/06/2011 05:01 - United States

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with, "Now get back to making sandwiches," your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 325

You deserved it 8 932

Power dynamic

By whole wheat or nothing - 30/12/2022 15:00

Today, my girlfriend viciously chewed me out for not taking a sandwich to work to save money. I don't have a problem with packing lunches, but the store-brand white bread she insists on buying is disgusting. She won't listen to me, and refuses to let me buy anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 288

Too many cooks, etc.

By hazyshadows - 18/03/2020 17:02 - United States - Edmond

Today, I tried to make a grilled cheese sandwich for myself, but as soon as I started, my mom rushed into the kitchen and criticized me for making it "wrong". She then made the sandwich for me. It tasted significantly worse than when I make them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 749

You deserved it 177

By xoxo_retailslave420_xoxo - 21/05/2016 12:57 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, a woman threw a sandwich at me, told me to go back to "fucktard island" and demanded to see my manager. All because the mayonnaise sandwich she ordered, shockingly enough, had mayonnaise in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 746

You deserved it 1 155

By Rick - 28/07/2011 10:51 - United States

Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 932

You deserved it 5 223

By fuckedbyahipster - 15/06/2013 16:13 - Finland

Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 721

You deserved it 2 884

By Anonymous - 05/09/2014 21:54 - United States - Conway

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 630

You deserved it 19 256

Can't win

By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, if I don't do work around the house, my girlfriend will call me a lazy pig and yell at me. If I do, she will yell because I didn't do it the right way. If I ask her to clarify the right way, she will call me a dumbass, give useless instructions, and work herself up into yelling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 251

By epicsandwichartist - 05/05/2011 07:13 - United States

Today, while working at a sandwich shop, we had a shortage and could only put so many veggies on one sandwich. I explained this to one man who was grumpy about it, but kept on ordering. I thought everything went well. He thought my face was a good target to launch his completed sandwich at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 823

You deserved it 3 639

Misheard

By not what she said - 01/06/2020 20:00

Today, I was on a Zoom call. My sister offered to go get lunch and I told her, "Don’t forget the baguettes." One overly sensitive coworker swears I used a derogatory slur that sounds the same. I didn’t. However, I’m still going to be investigated by my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 863

You deserved it 127

jwrin373 7

Friday 6 September 2013 2:32

Just tell her "that's cute now GO MAKE A ******* SANDWICH "

CanadiAnM8 24

Friday 6 September 2013 2:30

You should tell her to stop yelling as it is annoying you and to stop arguing with your god damn opinon.

Comments

Dinonick 15

Friday 6 September 2013 2:51

Hipsters man. They will **** your day up. Just like my my morning yesterday

joopjoop 19

Friday 6 September 2013 2:55

make your own sandwiches??

gilliaga73 18

Friday 6 September 2013 2:55

WTF? "make a sandwich" is offensive to her, but "****" isn't? That's messed up.

elle1112011 2

Friday 6 September 2013 3:09

Sandwiches are ******* good tell her to shut up

Eivana 37

Friday 6 September 2013 3:09

Don't apologize.

jtfrisch 22

Friday 6 September 2013 3:28

Stop posting FML's and make me a sandwhich.

leogachi 15

Saturday 7 September 2013 9:24

I don't think they got the joke.

Anubis_81 21

Friday 6 September 2013 3:31

Make her a sandwich, maybe that'll shut her mouth.

perdix 29

Friday 6 September 2013 3:33

Tell her you overheard two cute guys saying they'd like to "make a sandwich" out of her. Then, be a sexist **** and refuse to tell her their names.

Sweet_Meli 11

Friday 6 September 2013 3:38

It's cool that she has strong opinions, but you shouldn't feel like you can't talk about certain things or even say something as simple as " make me a sandwich" . You are roommates, you don't have to be the best of friends but at the same time you shouldn't feel disrespected.