Health: Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person...

By thatonesilentkidinclass - 04/05/2013 08:11 - Philippines - San Juan

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 709

You deserved it 12 132

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Same thing different taste

By anon - 20/03/2015 21:43 - United States - Arlington

Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 532

You deserved it 4 370

By JenniWearsPrada - 20/04/2011 08:27

Today, I decided to start my exercise video routine. It's an African dance workout DVD. Just as I felt confident and motivated about getting in shape, I realized that my window was wide open and my neighbors were getting a front row seat to me waving my arms in the air like an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 964

You deserved it 26 271

Take it easy

By Endrit Begolli - 27/06/2023 00:02 - Albania

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 210

By Out of Shape - 16/08/2011 22:09 - Egypt

Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 924

You deserved it 35 568

New day, same shit

By PickYourselfUp - 06/10/2014 03:17 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 901

You deserved it 8 654

Out of shape

By Anonymous - 05/09/2011 04:38 - Canada

Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 716

You deserved it 15 172

By Anonymous - 18/01/2015 16:34 - Ireland

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 957

You deserved it 20 682

By fat and alone - 05/06/2014 04:11 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 199

You deserved it 18 108

By xXfloatingshitlogXx - 03/11/2012 16:04 - Norway - Jessheim

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 163

You deserved it 2 172

By Mark - 30/03/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 446

You deserved it 74 933

DocBastard 38

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:02

You're going to be a huge hit at the gym. I can see it now...The Gasmaster.

dr_snow_bear 29

Saturday 4 May 2013 16:02

A small start is better than no start. Good luck!

Comments

Aligator67 12

Tuesday 10 September 2013 6:58

Jumping farts!

dodo116 16

Tuesday 6 May 2014 5:42

Wait for the push-up burpees...

mainlineloser 9

Sunday 20 July 2014 21:31

good job for getting motivated, keep trying!!!

shortswimmer17 28

Tuesday 27 January 2015 19:49

Good for you :) good luck

bloodwraith96 16

Tuesday 10 March 2015 7:37

Keep at it OP, don't give up. If it is important to you to get in shape then a few farts isn't the end of the world

DrStoked 12

Wednesday 11 March 2015 4:43

A small shart is better than no shart

PineapplePizza 15

Sunday 16 October 2016 5:02

I have bad knees. My gym has one of those bikes with the low seat to just peddle. That's great, and the eliptical isn't bad either. Treadmill is harder.