Love: Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

By fart - 27/11/2014 15:13 - United States - Houghton Lake

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 113

You deserved it 7 279

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Same thing different taste

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 834

You deserved it 5 272

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 07:23 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 900

You deserved it 3 224

By tmac05 - 13/11/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 836

You deserved it 3 011

Nervous

By amelie - 09/12/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 719

You deserved it 712

By nameless - 12/07/2009 06:45 - United States

Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 278

You deserved it 11 856

By Anonymous - 01/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 036

You deserved it 1 735

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 037

You deserved it 3 411

By oops - 18/05/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 499

You deserved it 10 826

Bad timing, dude

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 07:59 - Australia

Today, in the middle of asking my girlfriend to marry me, I sneezed so hard that I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 139

By Anonymous - 13/08/2015 01:18 - United States - Kingman

Today, I let out a huge fart during a job interview. I was the one conducting the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 406

You deserved it 5 192

ComoEsJuan 24

Thursday 27 November 2014 18:16

Breaking the ice by breaking wind. I'll take notes.

fuckyourlifeOP 25

Thursday 27 November 2014 18:16

That stinks!

Comments

Cebolamole 13

Thursday 27 November 2014 20:59

Did she say "yes"?

Isa_fml 20

Thursday 27 November 2014 21:16

Oh well, everybody farts. I hope she still went out with you. :)

Bradley_Dillon 39

Thursday 27 November 2014 22:29

I don't see the problem.

Sakuraashita 15

Thursday 27 November 2014 22:49

I think your previous night's dinner thought you meant to ask it to come out.

aliciavanham 13

Thursday 27 November 2014 22:59

If she really likes you, it wouldn't matter to her!

Uuuuxc 7

Friday 28 November 2014 0:19

if she's not mature enough to understand that flatulence is a natural function then you probably should't date her to begin with

devildog3766 3

Friday 28 November 2014 0:53

well what did she say?

whyisitincapital 25

Friday 28 November 2014 1:06

Did she fart 'yes' in reply?

worldclassrager 39

Friday 28 November 2014 1:15

Did she say yes?

thes7274473 19

Friday 28 November 2014 2:53

What did she say?

Keywords

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Today, one of my roommates bought new cowboy boots. He insists on wearing them indoors. Every morning he paces up and down the linoleum areas of the apartment with the boots on until he absolutely has to go to work, waking us up with the clomping noises. I and my other roommate work night and graveyard shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 70

Today, the guy I’ve been trying to get over for the last month finally messaged me like I’ve been hoping for, only to cry that his new girlfriend cheated on him and to ask if I think he should forgive her, because he, "appreciates my honesty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 590

You deserved it 215

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 219

Today, my company published "return to work" procedures for when the pandemic stops. HQ is in Maryland, I live in Arizona. I have worked remotely for the last 8 years. My new boss didn't know this. He wants me to move back to Maryland or find another job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 465

You deserved it 91

Today, in an effort to get active, I swam some laps at my school pool. Afterwards, I noticed that someone had broken into the locker I was using. Thankfully nothing was stolen except for my shoes and socks. I had a full day of classes to go to, barefoot, in December and an hour bus ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 241

You deserved it 608

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 251

Today, I received a Playboy magazine that I never ordered, and now my husband won't stop laughing at me or calling me a closet heterosexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 340

You deserved it 741

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 725

You deserved it 20 094

Same thing different taste

My body hates me

Nervous

Bad timing, dude

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