By ktpnothappening - 03/04/2016 16:03 - United States - North Augusta
I agree, your life sucks
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You deserved it
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ktpnothappening tells us more.
Hey guys! OP here. To clear things up, the warrant is for CDV and when hes arrested a no contact order will be in place. It wasn't a fun night. Our marriage wasn't doing well already because of his control issues, we were trying to work it out. After another argument, I told him we can't work this out, and my feelings had changed towards him. We went to bed with intentions of making a plan to start our separation the next day. He woke me up in the middle of the night to continue fighting, I told him we could talk about it in the morning. I guess he didn't like that, so he took it out on my face and threw me around like a rag doll. He tried to stop me from calling the cops, but I was able too. He decided to leave while I was on the phone with the police, taking all my cash and cards with him. I'm not perfect but I was a good wife and a pretty decent person, I didn't deserve it, no one does. Most of our arguments ended because he would start yelling and scare me into silence, I didn't want to live like that anymore. Anyway, hoped that cleared up some of the questions. A divorce is started, I'm relocating and leaving everything. I just want a happy, normal life.
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Alright so this definitely needs a follow up. Hope you aren't hurt or anything OP.
Did he hit you, if yes then he deserved it
Did you hit him because he said something, and he got very violent back? Was there an arrest warrant already out? Missing many details, and needs a follow up.
ALittleFreak
15
Why would you assume OP hit anyone, and especially first?
This really needs a follow up. Without more information, I don't know exactly how to react and who to feel bad for. 1. How did you tell him the news? Were you nice about it or was it out of the blue? 2. What was the arrest warrant for? Was it a previously standing one? Was he abusive? Did you get in a loud argument and a neighbor called the police (when that happens, the police usually have to make an arrest, and the BS Duluth Model makes sure it's always the guy that gets arrested)? Was he depressed and did something stupid like get drunk and drive? 3. How is your platonic relationship? I know people who've fallen out of love who are still very good friends. I also know people who are very nice, yet hate each other. 4. This is going to sound like a dick question, but how have you been treating him throughout your marriage? If you were abusing your husband at all (physically or emotionally), I wouldn't really blame him for snapping (fun fact: this is not actually that rare of a scenario. A Harvard study showed that 70% of non-reciprocal abusive relationships involve a woman abusing a man). This sounds accusatory, but it's really not. 5. Are there any charges pressed? It's very possible for him to get arrested and have nothing come of it, so it could end up just being a minor inconvenience (along with a great story for both of you).
Wow, you really care about who you should feel bad for
Also '70% of non-reciprocal abusive relationships involve a woman abusing a man'?! That can't be right. I'd be interested to see that study.
#64, apparently, the site doesn't like links, so I'll break it up a bit. Just put the sections together htt p:// ajph.aphapu blications.o rg/doi/ abs/10.210 5/AJPH.200 5.079020
I was eating an apple, and one thing led to another, and cthuluhu took over the post-apocalyptic world with his satanic disciples.
Well that escalated quickly
cheesecake12
12
This needs a follow up. I'm filled with curiosity
what did he do, OP?!!
what did he do, OP?!!
Hey guys! OP here. To clear things up, the warrant is for CDV and when hes arrested a no contact order will be in place. It wasn't a fun night. Our marriage wasn't doing well already because of his control issues, we were trying to work it out. After another argument, I told him we can't work this out, and my feelings had changed towards him. We went to bed with intentions of making a plan to start our separation the next day. He woke me up in the middle of the night to continue fighting, I told him we could talk about it in the morning. I guess he didn't like that, so he took it out on my face and threw me around like a rag doll. He tried to stop me from calling the cops, but I was able too. He decided to leave while I was on the phone with the police, taking all my cash and cards with him. I'm not perfect but I was a good wife and a pretty decent person, I didn't deserve it, no one does. Most of our arguments ended because he would start yelling and scare me into silence, I didn't want to live like that anymore. Anyway, hoped that cleared up some of the questions. A divorce is started, I'm relocating and leaving everything. I just want a happy, normal life.
ourtneyc
14
good luck OP I hope you get a fresh beginning
No one deserves to be treated that way! Good for you for ending it. Good luck with your move. I hope it brings you peace.
alexish128
13
Good for you! At least you stood up for yourself and got out of that situation! Nobody deserves to be treated like that, especially by someone that is supposed to love them.
Oh my God, that's really horrible. I hope he gets brought to justice and you get your cards and all that. I'm really sorry this happened to you!
I am so sorry this happens and no, nobody deserves to be treated like that, trust me you did the best thing you could by calling the cops, you'll find controlling abusers like that often do try and cut you off financially.
bearbear120
27
I'm glad you stood up for yourself and got yourself out of that relationship. I hope you feel better and keep yourself away from him. Stay safe and strong.
That's really scary, we're all glad you're gonna be okay!! Don't be afraid to seek a domestic abuse shelter or hotline.
He ******* deserves it. Nobody deserves that. Thank you for leaving him, my sister didnt have the brains to.
OP, I really, really hope you have somewhere safe to stay that your ex doesn't know about, because this is seriously scary shit, and the fact that it sounds like he hasn't been arrested yet makes me worried for your safety. But good on you for getting out, calling the cops, and starting the process! It's going to be a long, hard road still ahead, but you've already taken the hardest step by setting out on it.
best of luck to you I hope you find someone who respects and treats you well, no one is prefect but no one should live in fear of the one they love
55-- I obviously do not know any details of your sister's abuse, but saying she has no brains is mean. There are so many reasons people stay in abusive relationships and it has nothing to do with a lack of intelligence. As a previous poster said, abusers often control all the money, leaving the victim with almost nothing. The victims often feel like they are to blame, or just trapped. I used to wonder why people did not leave abusive relationships, then I got in one, and it isn't as black and white as it looks on the outside. Please just be there for your sister.
taybug1216
12
You go girl! You absolutely deserve better and hope that you find happiness! Good luck❤️
crazytwinsmom
25
That's why I had family right outside the door when I told my abusive ex that I wanted a divorce. He started to come at me and I told him they were there. That stopped him. Glad you are getting out OP! Take care!
Malsain_fml
10
I do feel sorry for you (for the story itself) but not tso much. The dominating feeling is gladness for you to have been strong enough to put an end to it. Congrats for that, because many people won't find courage enough do get out of this kind of situation when they should Hope you find happiness!
Publikwerks
14
That really sucks. It sounds like your ok though, and thats the biggest thing.
I would advise getting some protection, as I've seen lots of abusive ex's get violent and completely ignore no contact orders. If you don't like guns or tazers, the good brands of pepper spray can easily incapacitate a grown man. If you do pepper spray though, don't buy the cheap Chapstick sized ones, but the ones about as big as a spray can of deodorant.
congratulations. I know that must have been a difficult and scary thing to do, but you took you courage and did it anyways. I'm proud of you! good luck!
Op, honestly I'm glad you got out of that! That could of turned extremely dangerous! Hope things go well for you! :)
You did the right thing
I'm really happy you were able to speak up OP and get out before anything worse happened to you. Here's to a new beginning!
Good for you op. No one should be hit! I hope you clean the dog out.
Having been in mentally and physically abusive relationship where my ex was controlling, I'm glad you're out, because you're right, nobody deserves that! It can be exhausting, so tiring and hard, so I'm glad you've escaped and are staring your life again fresh! I've been single ever since, been single for 2.5 years now, I have my own place and adopted an elderly cat. I'm not perfect, but I'm happy, I'm settled and safe. I wish you the best of luck with your life and if you ever need someone to talk to, I'd be happy to listen. :)
orangejubejube
20
Good luck OP! Try to build yourself a solid support network (all the people you love) and lean on them when you need to
I ever find him, imma beat him harder than I beat m dick...not funny...OK Still, I'll scare HIM into a never ending silence. I got your back!!??
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Gee I wonder why you don't love him any more.
I'm gonna go ahead and guess that maybe he wasn't too happy with that