Dress you up

By NotTheFavoriteChild - 03/04/2016 16:53

Today, I asked my mom if she wanted to go wedding dress shopping with me today. She reluctantly said, "I guess…" I showered, shaved, and did my hair and makeup. When I came downstairs, she hadn't even brushed her teeth yet. "I'm just lacking motivation to go," she said. Glad you're so excited too. FML
I agree, your life sucks 20 460
You deserved it 1 599

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Sounds like there's a bigger problem here. It's kind of hard to tell if she's being an asshole of suffering from clinical depression...

I hate to be THAT guy, but just because you're getting married, that doesn't automatically erase everything else. Is your mom sick, either mentally or physically? Did she have a bad night's sleep or a tough day in general? Did she have money to do anything but window shop? Not everyone wants to spend their time preparing for someone else's wedding. She should have been honest and said she wasn't feeling it rather then get you excited, but it doesn't automatically mean she's not excited for your or prefers her other child(ren). Everyone has their own shut to deal with regardless of whether or not you're getting married.

Comments

Sounds like your mum might have a serious case of depression. Not your fault, not her fault but FYL either way!

MikaykayUnicorn 36

Yeah, that was my first thought too. I had severe depression and bipolar disorder and all I ever wanted to do was stay at home and sleep. Your mom sounds the same as I did. She might seriously need help. I was on the verge of taking my life. Find out what's wrong with your mom before it's too late.

I'm sorry OP, that should be an event every mother should want to spend with her daughter.

Could be the OP's third time to get married or something and the mom might be tired of the weddings

Sounds like there's a bigger problem here. It's kind of hard to tell if she's being an asshole of suffering from clinical depression...

Maybe she'll feel like going on another day? By the way congratulations on your engagement.

Mathalamus 24

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Because that's no fun. Everyone wants to be surrounded by their loved ones for that, and the mother of the bride is one of the most important people to go wedding dress shopping with

Shopping for a wedding dress generally isn't something you just do by yourself.

I'm sure there are people in your life who would love to fill that role. Don't waste your time with people who are interested in such a big occasion.

I hate to be THAT guy, but just because you're getting married, that doesn't automatically erase everything else. Is your mom sick, either mentally or physically? Did she have a bad night's sleep or a tough day in general? Did she have money to do anything but window shop? Not everyone wants to spend their time preparing for someone else's wedding. She should have been honest and said she wasn't feeling it rather then get you excited, but it doesn't automatically mean she's not excited for your or prefers her other child(ren). Everyone has their own shut to deal with regardless of whether or not you're getting married.

You're right that everything else doesn't revolve around the wedding, but it is a monumental event in someone's life, and often times people want to share it with those closest to them. Picking the wedding dress especially is something that a lot of women look forward to doing with the women (or sometimes men)who are important to them. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for a little bit of support and enthusiasm from your own mother on an occasion like this.

Well, it's not that OP is expecting everyone to be excited over every detail of the wedding. This is her mom, and picking out the dress. The single biggest mother-daughter event of the wedding planning process. "lacking motivation to go" is a pretty lame thing to say to OP as well.

Is your mother into shopping in general, or not at all? If she hates going to the stores, and just doesn't care for clothes in general, you can't really blame her for not being excited about going wedding dress shopping. You could just go on your own, or with a friend who loves to shop. That, or she could be tired, depressed, feeling a bit sick,... There's loads of other possible explanations than her not caring about you or your wedding.

dannidoll93 24

Those who are saying that if the mom didn't have any money or didn't enjoy shopping then it's understandable... No. She should be putting her daughter first and considering her feelings. I frequently go shopping with my best friend even though I don't really enjoy it because I know she likes it and in return sometimes she does stuff that's more for me than for her. Especially as it's for her daughter's wedding, the mother should be acting excited for the sake of her kid, even if she isn't. And I think if she had depression OP wouldn't have turned it into an FML because she'd be able to appreciate the reasons behind her behaviour. Reading between the lines it sounds to me like the mother was just being selfish and lazy and didn't care to not hurt OPs feelings by reducing a special and important activity to a boring chore. Sorry OP, hope you have a girlfriend or a sister you can take instead.

You really haven't had depression if you think people are understanding about it. I was chronically depressed for most of my life and my parents and other people thought I was just being lazy and sullen - even though they knew I was considered so ill I was deemed unfit for work. I can see my mother or ex-housemate writing a similar FML about me.

The thing about depression is that even though it's no one's fault, people still feel the negative impacts of it. So while many people may try to show understanding and sympathy, after a while they might have moments of frustration or misdirected anger. OP might have posted this even if her mom is clinically depressed. And she would have a right to, because even though it isn't the mom's fault, the circumstances still suck.

MrKdv 14

#12: I'm gonna agree with you on all of that! Because I've been there too. (Hope you feel better now.)

dannidoll93 24

I have had depression but if it was my daughter's special day to go wedding dress shopping I'd make more of an effort or at least explain that my depression was too intense today. I wouldn't just say that I couldn't be bothered.

She didn't though, she said she was lacking motivation. Which is the truth. It sucks, but if it really is depression I'm sure her mom feels guilty as well.