Work: Today, I came home on leave after a seven month deployment in...

By Jimbo - 25/05/2010 09:29 - United States

Today, I came home on leave after a seven month deployment in the middle of the ocean for the Navy. My entire region got hit by the worst flood in recorded history. I need a speedboat to go to the Quick-e-mart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 344

You deserved it 2 814

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/05/2011 17:54 - United States

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 643

You deserved it 3 416

By anon - 29/08/2012 04:52 - United States - York

Today, I was giving a tour of my boat to a man who seemed interested in purchasing it. Everything was going great. That is, until, the motor stopped running in the middle of the ocean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 512

You deserved it 3 122

High flying old bird

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 04:00

Today, while on vacation with my family, I went parasailing. Just as I was about to take off, the wind picked up and I got blown off course. I ended up crashing into a boat and had to be rescued by the coastguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 103

Long distance

By singlesailor - 19/09/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I'm in my fourth month of training in the US Navy. I'm 3000 miles from home. I joined to give my wife a better life. Since I've been gone, she decided that she liked being single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 530

You deserved it 4 458

By Tori Pearson - 27/06/2011 04:21 - Canada

Today, I went camping. My tent is flooded, a raccoon ate all my food, I lost the anchor to my boat which as a result is now across the lake. Three more days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 735

You deserved it 6 886

By Anonymous - 26/03/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I got back from a 6 month deployment overseas. My girlfriend of 3 years couldn't pick me up from the airport because she had an intramural softball game to go to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 449

You deserved it 6 333

Sea legs

By have it your way - 29/04/2014 19:13 - United States - Rochester

Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 140

You deserved it 5 069

Cursed lake

By TabbyCat87 - 18/10/2019 16:00

Today, our boat broke down in the middle of a lake at sunset. We called our friend for help, and his truck and trailer got stuck in mud at the boat ramp. We called the sheriff's office to tow his vehicle out of the mud. The tow strap broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 623

You deserved it 150

By NVflood17 - 17/01/2017 08:00

Today, there's lethal flooding in the Reno area, with all roads to my work closed and flooded. My boss still expects me to drive through it, in the dark, to work at 6am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 098

You deserved it 447

Really struggling, huh?

By Anonymous - 27/09/2023 10:00

Today, after I was on deployment 6000 miles away, and because my wife was struggling pretty bad with work, kids, and taking care of everything on her own, she finally had a breakdown so I came home early to help. I found out she was fucking another Navy dude the whole time. I should've stayed out there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 104

letmeinplease 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 16:07

Well at least you've got practice...

Dopeyrox 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 16:08

well, at least your use to the water right?

Comments

hockeyhouse 5

Tuesday 25 May 2010 22:57

Welcome home and thanks for your service. That's both serious and sarcastic. ;o)

trumpetGIRL12345 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 23:24

sempter fi

sweetiepie514 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 0:03

how the hell r u writing this fml if ur town got flooded!! i think this is fake!!

TiffanyBlews27 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 2:10

That sucks. You leave the sea only to come back to it. :(

Lunatik89 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 2:23

lmfao why don't u just swim u r a squid...by the way I'm a Marine

marinewifey010 0

Saturday 27 November 2010 4:20

ooh rah

ace12294 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 3:44

this isn't even real. quick e mart is only in the simpsons, and as far as I know there haven't been any bad floods anywhere recently

Forenzics 10

Saturday 2 February 2013 2:57

Actually Nashville and the surrounding areas had a record flood that only happens every hundred years... Watch the news or something.

heybabyitsemma13 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 5:04

at least your home

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 26 May 2010 5:16

Only if the airport was flooded. He may very well live 10s of minutes or a hour or so away from an airport.

manbizzle 1

Wednesday 26 May 2010 6:57

lol @68. wow.

gibbons88 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 15:16

thanks for serving. at least u can get around with eas

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The Top

Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 96

Today, I got called in for a second job interview for a position I'd applied for. When I met the interviewer, she smiled and told me to have a seat. She pulls out her phone and says, “So, care to explain this?” It was one of my TikToks from ages ago of me singing the "N-word" over and over again. I forgot I had that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 977

The Top

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 634

You deserved it 3 853

Today, my wife, being very considerate, bought me a new phone for my birthday. That would be fine and dandy if cops didn't then enter my house and say I stole it. Turns out my wife paid $900 from MY credit card to the person who stole the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 019

You deserved it 196

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 055

You deserved it 2 610

Today, I went to pay my vehicle registration in person to avoid paying the $10.00 online service fee. After a long wait, I came out to find a $15.00 parking ticket on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 747

You deserved it 24 558

Today, I took part in a bouquet toss. The "single ladies" consisted of myself and several girls under the age of ten. I'm 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 063

You deserved it 3 115

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 134

You deserved it 8 048