Miscellaneous: Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked...

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 23:12 - Canada

Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked through the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 521

You deserved it 79 354

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Same thing different taste

By void bowels() { cry(); } - 26/11/2014 20:45 - United Kingdom - Caerphilly

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 960

You deserved it 3 686

By haunted - 24/11/2011 20:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 620

You deserved it 4 824

By shelbylove115 - 22/02/2013 05:35 - United States - Nevada City

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 614

You deserved it 35 174

WHO ARE YOU?

By Anonymous - 05/01/2020 03:00

Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 459

You deserved it 764

By NeverLookingAgain - 30/12/2015 04:16 - United States

Today, I faced my fears. I've always had a weird fear of looking out of windows at night, afraid a face would suddenly appear. When I heard a strange noise outside, I looked out the window. Sure enough, the face of a man suddenly appeared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 439

You deserved it 2 028

Mistaken identity

By Guess I was wrong - 16/03/2020 06:23

Today, I came home to find a man standing in my living room. Since my mom texted me that her new boyfriend would be coming over, I just assumed it was him. I introduced myself, made us some coffee and I went to my room to study. When I went downstairs after a while, the TV was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 736

You deserved it 400

By Nell - 30/06/2011 21:10 - United States

Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 455

You deserved it 37 392

Stay indoors, it's safer at the moment

By iamScaredyCat - 03/04/2020 20:00

Today, I was texting while walking up the stairs to my porch. When I looked up, I saw someone standing behind the porch door, and was so scared that I fell backwards down the stairs. Turns out, it was just my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 1 619

Lock your doors

By homealone - 14/12/2016 23:27 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, after a long day at work, I fell asleep in my living room. When I woke up, I saw a man leaving my bedroom wearing my pajamas, and I started screaming as he casually left. The cops came and apparently he's mentally ill. He truly believed it was his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 303

You deserved it 558

By i see fat people - 07/12/2012 21:10 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 105

You deserved it 9 881

24788 6

Thursday 30 April 2009 9:26

Lol! I can't believe you messed up that badly. :)

vampirate 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 9:27

haha I hope you were either high or really tired.

Comments

hadxx 0

Friday 1 May 2009 0:23

hahahaha #13 & #41

_anonymoose_ 0

Friday 1 May 2009 0:27

are you a woman then?

juicyfruit23 0

Friday 1 May 2009 0:40

i like #13. wow is this real? i didnt realize how stupid people are until i came to this website. thats just kinda pathetic

iPhanny 0

Friday 1 May 2009 0:54

LOLOLOL #13. Wow.

nowayss 0

Friday 1 May 2009 0:59

FUUUCK, you're an idiot.

kidNflorida 0

Friday 1 May 2009 1:06

What a dumb (d)uck lmao. I mean that in the nicest of all ways hahaa

Oriina 0

Friday 1 May 2009 2:10

You take "stupidity" and "paranoia" to an entirely new level.

Lucicx0 0

Friday 1 May 2009 2:37

lmfaaaaaaaaaaaaaao this is something that would be on family guy

cocoscoffee 0

Friday 1 May 2009 4:21

19 i know what you mean, hahah but you have made my day :) thank you hahahha

jenn9854 0

Friday 1 May 2009 5:44

hAahahaha.. dumbass =]

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The Top

Today, I found my husband on a dating app and I was gonna kick his ass, until I realised that would mean admitting I’m on the same app, so I deleted mine but now I need to figure out a way of explaining how I know he’s still on it, so I can kick his ass. We have a twisted relationship, I know this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 2 420

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 269

You deserved it 4 534

The Top

Today, I got a call from my son’s teacher. Apparently, while doing a test, he responded to the question, "Predict how the government will change in the next ten years" with, "I’m not psychic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 155

Today, I went to an auction for the first time. When the run-down house I wanted to bid for came up, I opened bidding at £12,000 and surprisingly won. Feeling pleased, I turned to the person next to me and said, "Lucky me!" She replied, "Yes, lucky you!" and then under her breath said, "Cockhead". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 215

You deserved it 9 338

Today, I went on a plane and was sitting next to a mom with her 12-year-oldish daughter. Apparently, they decided to have "The talk." On the plane, right next to me. I heard everything, and actually learned new things. I'm 35. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 317

You deserved it 6 664

Today, I can’t divorce my lazy, unemployed, shopping-addicted, cheating wife because her father is one of the best, sleaziest, underhanded divorce lawyers in our city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 169

...and just like that, the weekend was over.

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 76

Today, I checked an old photosharing account. I got a new phone last year and didn't realize all the pictures I took with the new phone would still automatically upload to my account. Unknowingly, I posted naked pics of myself online. Not one of my friends told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 710

You deserved it 56 598