Love: Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front...

By killmenow - 03/12/2015 05:33 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 255

You deserved it 2 646

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 15/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 559

You deserved it 7 667

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 414

You deserved it 10 250

Good bye!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 20:00

Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and instead of talking to him I burped, and he just walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 734

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 834

You deserved it 5 154

By beriles - 15/01/2010 05:25 - United States

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 151

You deserved it 8 437

By Anonymous - 24/05/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 184

You deserved it 47 567

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/04/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 345

You deserved it 2 811

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 835

You deserved it 5 272

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 771

You deserved it 11 915

By Oops - 23/05/2010 09:21 - Australia

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 210

You deserved it 29 935

KhaleesiDannie 26

Thursday 3 December 2015 17:45

It's just your mating call

Kinglue 17

Thursday 3 December 2015 18:01

Hey it's ok... At least you didn't shit yourself...

Comments

Muerteds 18

Friday 4 December 2015 0:28

Yes, sing him the song of your people proudly.

sarahmfighter 11

Friday 4 December 2015 0:37

I have read every FML on this website, but this...this is my favorite.

youdontcontrolme 17

Friday 4 December 2015 2:11

Honestly I would laugh and say good one

nikkibug321 9

Friday 4 December 2015 3:22

don't worry I hiccupped and farted in front of my crush

TheLastCenturion 19

Friday 4 December 2015 7:58

Tell him it's your war cry.

katertott 44

Friday 4 December 2015 13:23

Just tell him he took your breath away.

my_dog_paco1205 14

Friday 4 December 2015 15:12

on nooooo I'm so sorry

danairis27 9

Friday 4 December 2015 19:00

Maintain eye contact to assert dominance?

eclom 12

Friday 4 December 2015 23:19

So you don't cover your mouth when you burp?

Eivana 37

Saturday 5 December 2015 7:26

Haha! I would be impressed!

Keywords

Cats Cute Animals Awkward Intimacy Sex Family Alcohol Work Coworkers Mental health Psychology Health AITA Relationship advice Weird Love Cops Neighbours Miscellaneous Scary Stressed out Parents Cake Birthday Dogs Cars Transportation Embarrassing Fire

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 275

You deserved it 14 941

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 2 006

The Top

Today, I learned companies can legally lie to fire an employee, and unless anything they say is on record, they are legally correct, no matter how unethical the company is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 050

You deserved it 1 817

Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. 5 seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the happy sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 040

You deserved it 31 033

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 424

You deserved it 8 823

Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 105

You deserved it 9 881

Today, I confronted my husband about the sexts between him and another woman. He says it’s “just chatting” and “It’s not like I’m gonna do it in real life, I got you baby.” He called me unreasonable for getting upset. He’s sulking right now because I refused to fix him dinner tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 100

Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 700

You deserved it 1 639

Same thing different taste

Good bye!

My body hates me

An attempt was made

Top comments

Comments